Character

Hey Guys,

Today was an interesting day simply because it is a full day of classes and I had a fair amount of homework due. The main focus of my day today was to deliver a 10 minute speech in class. But what I am going to talk about is I had a interesting discussion in my stats class where we were talking about plagiarism and the effects that it could have. I myself maybe do not look at the magnitude of 'cheating' my teacher. We had this example and maybe I am under reacting but she said that if a person would cheat on a test would also steal when they get older, then they would steal from their company, then they would be fraudulent and so on. I was thinking there for a second and that just did not make sense to me. Do you really think that if someone cheated on a small assignment today that in the future they would be fraudulent?

As the discussion went on my teacher asked about this guys situation whether his cheating was situational or just his character. The situation was this, he was rush, stressed and did not want to do the assignment. So he choose to copy it from a website and hand it in as his own work. It was extremely interesting to see what other people view this as. It was a simple black and white answer for me that this was a flaw in his character. It seem though people did not agree with me. They were saying it was situational that it was because of his circumstance that he cheated that he would not have done it otherwise. That just did not make sense to me because of what I have been taught. My mom has always taught me since the day I was born that a persons true character will come out when they are pushed, stressed and forced to make a decision. So I was in shock during the class that people would say that it was only situational. Still now that does not even make sense to me that you can justify something by the circumstances. I stand by exactly what my mom told me is that my true character will be shown when I am pushed to my extremes. 

The reason this made me think is because it is extremely easy to be a nice person when everything is peachy. When the day is good it is easy to be happy and nice to people. But it is when you are pushed, stressed, and feel like you are running out of options you will find out who you are. I was talking with a few guys friend of mind this week and we just found that everything was a little off, little more grumpy, little easier annoy and a little bit more of a jerk. But that did not stop us from still being there and talk to each other or causing our WHOLE character to break down. But that is because it is not part of our character to just break down and resort to bad habits when times get tough. That is why I believe in this example it was a character that cheating was an option. That doing that was an option. You will truly start to know someone when they get pushed to a wall. I am no where near perfect and never will be but usually when things start getting tough I stick true to my morals and values. We will see though I am still young and as my dad always tells me I do not even know what stress is yet!

Goodbye for now,

Christian Sawka

By the way would love it if you followed on Blogspot, liked on Facebook, share this and above all comment I would love to hear what you guys think.

Why I Blog?

Hey Guys,

Something that I have been thinking about lately is Why Do I Blog? What causes me to keep coming back each day and posting something new. Well, where it all started was way back when I was just coming through my depression and I felt I had to share everything with people. Not just to say look I am getting better but to show that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I started because I never wanted someone again, in life, to have to go through depression and suicide alone. I think this is something I have found and I am SURE that if you read my blog you can pick up on is that I believe we spend too much time alone. Now, what I mean about being alone, I mean spending time actually in community and sharing with people. I find that we spend so much time with people without actually getting to know them and thus feel alone. I think that is one of the reason I still blog to this day is a act of trying to show people that it is alright to be open and honest and share. I have received a fair amount of comments, jokes and even insults about my blog. As a lot of you know I post all my links of Facebook and I do actually get a fair amount of flack from them. Commenting of what I am saying, my problems, and my spelling. This is the thing I am realizing though the more I blog the more I post the less I actually care about the words of others that are negative. 

So Why Do I Still Blog? Well it is as simple as this I like to hear my own words. Joking, the truth is because I have spent my entire life is fast forward trying to move from one thing to another time after time without ever stopping. Blogging is the one time in a day that I can slow right down and relax. Yes, I do it usually before I go to sleep because I was told too. I was told to do something that would calm me down and would allow me to fall asleep. During my depression I had some wicked insomnia that really effected my daily life that I am JUST starting to get over now. In a lot of ways I blog to aide my recovery. The saying goes 'laughter is the best medicine' well I would say that the best medicine for depression, loneliness is talking. I've spent the majority of my life talking about people instead of talking too people, sharing what matters to me the most. This blog matters to me, my friends matter to me, my family matters to me and my faith matters to me (not in that order) but these things are important and beneficial to my life. Something I wrote in my goals for 2011 is that I wanted to change one persons life and I also wrote I never will know if I will. That is still fine with me though. Why I will continue to blog is because it is helping me grow up a little bit, think and understand my actions. It is teaching my to process everything, understand issue from multiple perspectives and also accept and move on. 

I tend to do more of a reflective blog on Sunday night and this was my reflective blog. There are going to be some big changes in my life upcoming and I am going to try and think them through. If I have learned anything through all my writing it is this, sometimes take a little more time on things is not a bad thing at all.

Goodbye for now,
Christian Sawka

By the way would love it if you followed on Blogspot, liked on Facebook, share this and above all comment I would love to hear what you guys think.

Warren Buffet

Hey Guys,

My dad sent me this a few days ago and said that it might be something I would enjoy. Of course being my dad he got that right. The email forward starts with a quote.

"I always knew I was going to be rich. I don't think I ever doubted if for a minute" - Warren Buffett

The reason this email started out was because he was interview for a one hour segment for CNBC as to why he donated $31 billion to charities. Think about that for a second 31 BILLION a lot of us have trouble giving 31$ not try to give a billion times more then that. Do not fool yourself and say it would be easier to give if you have money. There are 9 points in all but I want to touch on a few that have made me think about my own life and what I want to challenge you guys to think about to. 

First, He still lives in the same small 3-bedroom house in mid-town Omaha that he bought 50 years ago. This is something I think our culture struggles with a ton is always buying more then we need. I struggle with this A TON which is always wanting more then I need. It could be as simple as food, or a phone or anything along those lines something I do not NEED but I want. I am getting better at this but we are pressed so often to WANT more then we NEED

Second, he talked about how he never holds a meeting with his CEO's or calls them on a regular basis. They do what they need to do and once a year he writes them a letter. The caption below said "assign the right people to the right jobs". This is a great business idea but even more then that it is a GREAT life motto. Having the right people in the right areas. I am talking about the people who surround you, the friends you have define who you are in a lot of ways. Think quickly what do you friends say about who you are? Are you surrounded by the right people?

Third, Warren Buffet does not carry a cell phone, nor has a computer on his desk. Look back at what I wrote in my social media post. We think we have to be connected at all times to everyone or else we will "miss" something. It is scary to think that the second richest man in the world does not have 90 forms of communication on his desk and around him.

It was these last quotes from him that hit home for me that made me think about who I was:

A. Money does not create a man but it is the man who created money

B. Live your life as simple as you are.

C. Do not do what others say, just listen to them, but do what you feel is good.

E. Do not waste your money on unnecessary things; just spend on them who really in need rather

F. After all it is your life then why give change to others to rule your life

These were points he gave to young people. Maybe I am extremely sensitive to information and learning from leaders now in my life but these made me think. A lot of you who have been following me for a while realize I ran a business this summer. I was thinking about how much money I wasted. How much money I spent on unnecessary things. But I quickly changed my though and took the focus off the past and started to look back at my day to day life. Now I am not saying we should kick everyone out of our life and not be ruled by ANYONE but I started thinking how much am I controlled? How much do I get peer pressured into things? How much do I try to make my own life complex? I do not have the answers to those questions yet but those are things I am thinking about. I want to encourage you to think about those too. I leave you with a quote from Warren Buffet:

"The HAPPIEST people DO NOT necessarily have the 'BEST' THINGS. They simply APPRECIATE the things they have"

Goodbye for now,

Christian Sawka

By the way feel free to follow on Blogspot, like on Facebook, share this and above all comment I would love to hear what you guys think.

Friday!

Hey Guys,

It's Friday, Friday, going to get down on Friday... Just joking that is probably the worst culture thing right now is that video (look up Friday on YouTube if you want to know what I mean). Friday is a major day in the week it seems though. It is the last day in the business week, the last day before the weekend and the first day to relax and have fun! Kinda of. Maybe I am crazy but Friday does not seem like any special for me. It might once I actually get a job and also move on with my life but right now there is no difference between Monday or Friday. Even when I was growing up the way I was raised is that although Saturday was a day off your job it did not mean a day of doing nothing. There were jobs, tasks and work still to be done. Even tomorrow, I probably will wake up earlier then normal because there are tasks to be done. So how come there is such a fixation upon Friday?

Well it is a simple answer actually it is a day the represents a change, getting away from out day to day task and allows us to do what we want. The day represents that we do not have to wake up early the next morning and go to work or school. I just do not see the big deal of it all, like did I miss something growing up that Friday night was this magical night where you are allowed to forget about everything you have to still do? 

Anyone who does not know I am not much of a party go'er. I do not particularly enjoy going out to clubs, drinking or anything along those lines. It just seems that is what Friday and Saturday has become in my age just an excuse to go out because there is nothing going on tomorrow. Maybe I should thank my parents for that because all I can view tomorrow as is a full day to get tasks done. Just a short blog post as I am going to bed early :)

What are you doing with your Friday? What are you going to do tomorrow?

Goodbye for now,

Christian Sawka

Learning about Depression

Hey Guys,

Today I had a pretty funny experience that I would like to share with you all. Today in my Psychology class I learned about depression, anti-depressants and therapy. It was about the weirdest feelings I have ever had. I was reading the text book, listening to Doug Hampson and watching the YouTube clips he had provided. It was all extremely real to me. There was no reaction like WOW that must suck to go through like I normally have when learning about psychology. You hear about people losing parents, eating disorders, and everything like that and all you can do is sympathize. When I was reading the textbook and learning all these different techniques all I could think about was my own life. No long where these disorders or conditions on paper but I had experienced them and lived them out. It changes your opinion, Doug ask the question what would you prefer. I sat there and though what did I prefer, what did I receive, and started getting a little uncomfortable.

The reason I was uncomfortable was not because I felt bad or like crap but because of someone that was brought into our class a few weeks before. This guy went through hell, his entire life was horrible and filled with every temptations a man could face. He shared about us about when he was debating taking his own life and his own experience. I sat there is complete silence even after the class Doug mentioned that I was quiet, I shared with him later why. The reason why I was quiet and the reason I was uncomfortable today is these two ideas:

One, that even though I have had so many blessing in my life and a great life I still came to the same place as I guy who faced hell. Let me explain my life, my dad will do anything to support me, my mom loves me everyday and always will and my sister is my biggest fan. I have always been given everything I have wanted and yet still I went through a strong depression. I still got to the point of not want to live. Scary how powerful our brain is? it can create any doubt, fear or failure.

Two, that now learning about depression, therapy and ways to get help has created a bigger realism about it all. Sometimes I talk about my depression and everything like it was a distant past. As though it happened years ago. It was 5 months ago I almost killed myself, 3 months ago I was on Anti-depressants and 2 months ago I was going to counselling every week. That is not a long time ago at all. Today taught me that, that my past although it is my past was still not that long ago.

I do have to say though learning about what you went through it a great thing. I would suggest anyone who has gone through anything to learn about it, understand and figure out everything. I am going to post from now on once a week about "Learning about Depression" how to figure it out. Today made me realize that I still do not understand everything that went on. What caused me to view myself as a failure? What caused me to feel like I am not good enough? What caused me to lose all hope? I was CHALLENGED in psychology to class today that I need to understand what went on more while continuing to grow and move past it.

By the way, I love to hear what you guys think, comment, share or follow it encourages me to stay open, honest and truthful about what depression was like.

Goodbye for now,

Christian Sawka

Social Media

Hey Guys,

Something that is growing in our society, although it may be past its explosion it is still something so integrated into our culture. Facebook is probably the most well known but there are an ever increase amount of ways to "communicate" via social media. If it is through Twitter, Blogs, Facebook, YouTube or other social media outlets this is our new generation of communication. Being a business major they are teaching us that this is the new form of advertisement, this is the new form of marketing and this is the future. BUT I pose this question, should this be our future? I am not saying that Facebook, or instant chat is a horrible thing. The positives of globalization social media far out weigh the negative. However there are some looming negatives that are at hand. We are a culture that knows the least amount of each other. I am at huge fault for this. Think about it for a second either your communication through email, or instant chat, how often do you miss sarcasm, tone or just the mood of a conversation? Even within these last few days I can think of two to three times where conversations or messages have been mistook based upon just social media. Something is lost in that translation. 

Should this be our future? I myself do not think that it should be our future, however I think it is a reality that this is going to be our future. It is unfortunate. The reason I say this is unfortunate is because you miss so much when you miss the most important part of communication. Which are non-verbal communication or body signals. I always find it shocking when people get "shocked" about something going on to their close friend. Now I am not perfect and I always make mistakes but I believe that we miss so much today. We miss when people are struggling, we've learned so much how to put a front up especially online and especially hide our true emotions. When I was going through depression I stopped communicating to people through real forms of communication and just talked online. This is because you can always limit what you say online, even right now I can control how much I share.

Especially when I was younger I use to love and still love going online the reason is because you can be whoever you want, you can take away any flaw you want and be something more than you think you are. One of the reason I loved the play World of Warcraft is because you can create the character you want to be and be any personality you want. Let me bring this back to social media again, I think it is another way to create any image you want and hide your weak points. It is a rarity that you are going to see someone post a status that says something of personal meaning where they are truly struggling. It sucked when I was going through depression because it is ten times easier to put up a front or something you were not then what was going on. That is my fear with social media because instead of promoting being really who you are it helps us create/show something we are not.

Or then again this might just be me; I am nowhere near perfect :)

Goodbye for now,

Christian Sawka

Remember to comment, share and follow. It helps me out a lot with just encouragement and everything else. 

Studying

Hey Guys,


I think we have stumbled upon a new type of torture. It is not longer water torture, pain torture, no it is studying. It is making the examples easier then the exam just to make sure you feel confident then go oh crap! I am going to be finishing up my third year of University soon, and this is after 2 years of IB. I hate studying not because I do not want to do well but because what is the point? To get a good grade to do well etc... I know that but I miss those "good ol' days" What do I mean by this?


I miss evaluations based upon the actual student not some test. I HATE testing to this day I freak out when I see multiple choice, or I see a scantron. If you give me a written it just gives me so much joy, the ability to express what you actually know instead of circling an answer. This will be a common discussion about how to test people you will forever see in educations circles and also in circles of life. It is this, how do you test someone? It is really easy to do a scantron, you run it through it marks for you and you are DONE. It is much easier to give someone a 90% on a multiple choice then to read through and grade hundreds peoples answers to questions.


People will say they like written because you can BS and answer but something I am starting to see is this. You have to at least know what you are talking about to make up something. A funny story about this was in psychology class.  I missed a few classes because of being sick and I came to write a quiz with little to no class attendance or studying. Turns out the test was on emotional health and stress, with a focus on depression. Guess how I did? Well it is simple as this for me, it is easier to remember something I have experienced or done. It is difficult for me always to stay focus while study because I know I am going to forget half of this by sunrise and the majority of it by the time the next test comes around.


This has turned into more of a rant but that is life, I am just frustrated with school lately, it is hard to stay focused when you do not see a purpose in it all. I am not saying there is no purpose in school or getting a education but rather not seeing what you are going to do when you graduate is difficult to do the small stuff now.


Goodbye for now,
Christian Sawka

Relax

Hey Guys,

Surprisingly this weekend seemed to be busy. Constantly something was going on and I had a limited amount of time to just relax. The thing I am starting to learn is that there is a difference between being lazy and relaxing. Sometimes we get them mixed up. I know I do the thing is relaxing is doing something to clam yourself while being lazy is just doing absolutely nothing. Have you ever noticed when you take a full day off you feel less relaxed then we you started? Well that is the thing you feel lazy not relaxed. Feeling relax can and mostly comes with a feeling of accomplishment as though there has been a weight lifted off your shoulders. A little more professional definition is this:

Relax: become less tense, rest, or take one's ease; "He relaxed in the hot tub"; "Let's all relax after a hard day's work" 

Laziness: Unwilling to do work or make an effort; Requiring little or no effort

See there actually is a difference. Relaxing in my opinion is making a effort to do something to take tension off yourself, while laziness is unwilling to do anything. In my personal experience being lazy only makes you less relaxed. The reason I am bringing this up is because I am debating if lately I have been lazy or if I have been relaxed sometimes it is difficult to know the difference. I have been getting alot done but also have been taking a fair amount of time off. I have been accomplishing tasks one step at a time but I also have been spending alot of time alone. That is a debate I will be having over these next couple weeks as exams are coming up.

YOU NEED TO RELAX, take time out of your day to relax, breathe but at the same time being lazy will be extremely negative for my education and my health. Maybe that is something to think about how much time do we spend just being lazy and not actually accomplishing anything to help us relax? Probably if you are reading this and your a student you either A. Enjoy my blog, B. It popped up in your feed or C. You are trying to not do homework. I do that all the time. It is enjoyable to be lazy and do absolutely nothing but it tends to stress me out time and time again because I will waste time. Whether it be on Youtube, Facebook, Lamebook etc... I waste my time and can be lazy but usually if I have not accomplished enough I will get stressed out even more. Maybe I am wrong though right? What do you think...? Do you think being relaxed includes being lazy at some points or is there no place for being lazy?

Goodbye for now,

Christian Sawka

P.S. Do not forget to comment, and follow on facebook.

Priority

Hey Guys,

Something that is starting to become more and more important in my life is priorities and what means the most to me in my life. When I was battling through depression, nothing was a priority in my life. Anything and everything seem not urgent or important and any point. Well now that I have worked through most of my depression the first thing that has happened is EVERYTHING became a priority to me. I went back to over-extending myself, I wanted to do everything under the sun this included anything and everything once again. As anyone who has read my blog for a while knows I came to a real fight with the importance of life. Well once you come out of that you have a new energy for life, a new vigor to get stuff down and a push to live life once again. Unfortunately you have to be careful as to how much you take on. I have been told since the moment I came to TWU I was the type of person who LOVES to get involved and my biggest weakness was I like to do too much. It is something I will master eventually and something I am working on is what is a priority in my life.

On a day to day level it is easy.... there are four categories: Urgent and Important, Important and Not Urgent, Urgent and Not important, and Not Important or Urgent. Something my mentor and my dad have told me since the beginning of this year and for my dad since the beginning of my life is to prioritize my task. Each day you have to prioritize everything because you cannot get everything done but somethings are more important than others. For example (my dad is going to love this) Getting a paper done has more importance then watching TV or Movies. Studying is more important then talking to a friend till the wee hours of the night. It is always easy to prioritize things as what is important, urgent or neither. Here I will give you a list before making my final point.

Work? Homework? Church? Studying? Sleeping? Running? Watching TV? Reading the Newspaper? Family? Facebook? etc... what are your priorities there?

Here is my final and probably the biggest point I have to make about my life and priorities. Everything in life especially in my life is my own personal priority. What I mean by this is that the importance I put on things is extremely objective. If I do not want to do something that is vitally important I will not do it. It is not because I am lazy or anything but it is because I myself do not see the importance of that task. That is the biggest thing I am leaving about priority in life is that as vital or important and urgent a task can be, I myself need to make it a priority! Maybe it comes with growing up when you learn to 'suck it up' and get it done. Right now though, I think sleep is a priority!

Goodbye for now,

Christian Sawka

Tired

Hey Guys,


Today I am tired, physically exhausted. It is the end of the week, there is still a ton to do. Dinners, Lunches, Training Sessions, Papers, Projects and more and more work. Last night we were playing a game called slaughter. Let me explain the idea of this game. It was to get a small ball to a cone. It was that simple. Except guess what, there were anywhere between 5 - 10 guys running at each other, or 5-17 girls. Now the size of this square was 8 feet by 8 feet, yes that was the size of a square. I have the 'privilege' of refereeing the games. It completely sucked, not because it was hard but because I could barely see anything in the mud pit and no matter what call I made people were going to be pissed off. What also sucked was in my court there were just a few injuries but nothing as bad as it seemed to go on, on other courts. Near the end of the game the second final game a girl got thrown down and smash her head on the ground. We quickly stopped the game, turns out it was actually serious so we completely shut down the games after that because of SO many injuries. Well that is not the reason I am tired, but the reason is because we ended up staying around the field till about midnight because a girl was getting treated for a pretty nasty concussion. It was just a tough evening all around because it was an extremely long day and then just staying up watching people get hurt is taxing. Thats a little bit of a rant sorry.


I am also tired of just school right now, this is completely normal. I am just tired of doing classes everyday, tired of doing home, tired of listening to teachers pretending they know what there talking about and tired of writing about made up problems. Something I am wanting to do quickly is get out in the 'real world' I want to make a difference and get some cash in my pocket. But I think that comes at the end of the semester where you just want to be done. Then you get to work for 4 months realize how easy school life is and want to be back. This week made me realize how much I miss first year and how much I am a little bit older now. At the beginning of fort week I was so pumped to see all the dorms going at it, running around being nuts and I wanted to be apart of it. Well by the end of the week I was done with having people so full of energy and just wanted to relax. Not that is bad but I am definitely not the same person I was in my first year I am TIRED of the constant trying to always do something fun and active. I am getting old and boring. Well I wouldn't say that but the things that I use to find so much fun are a little bit different.


That is all I am just tired right now and I am hoping you guys are surviving as well. Maybe take some time off and breath... What I am going to do is get some tea, hang out and relax with friends and just have a good time. Try to recover from the week!


Goodbye for now,
Christian Sawka

How to accomplish your goals

Hey Guys,

Something I have talked about a TON on this blog has been goals. The reason I am talked about it a lot in this blog is because I believe goals can serious help your life. I have written about my goals in these blogs, Goals and Goals 2. Those are my own goals and why I have made them. What I am going to blog about is basically this, quickly how to make goals, why to make goals and how to accomplish them. I believe those are the three big things when we start talking about goals. 

Here is how I make goals, this has been built into me through my mentor. He has taught my alot and especially taught my alot about goals here we go quickly how to make a goal.

1. Find you values and morals

2. Vision, what you want and dont want

3. Mission, can it be done?

4. Purpose, why your making this goal.

This is how to make a goal quickly I will write later one how to make a solid goal a little bit more but that is the very basic.

5. Make a Goal

At this point you have figured out why you have made a goal and make a goal. Why do we make goals though. The reason we make goals is to keep us sane. Straight up if you do not even have minimal goals in your life you will go insane. Let me explain this, with having goals we have somewhat of a direction. If you have no direction at all in your life you would go insane. Now goals can be as simple as getting to class, driving to school or graduating those are all goals. Some are big some are small but we make goals to get through the day.

Now lastly how do you accomplish your goals well it is REALLY REALLY simple. Here are the very very basic steps:

6. Figure out your knowledge and skills

7. Daily Activities

8. Habits

There it is, it is that simple as my mentor showed me it is a quick 8 step process and your life will be so much simpler. Well let's break them down a little bit. How we accomplish goals first is by figuring out what you are knowledgeable about and what your skills are. If I make a goal to become a musician that sings well I need to understand that I do not have skill in singing therefore I need to gain that skill. Next thing to accomplish your goals is fixing your daily activities so that they match up with what you are trying to accomplish. If I want to get in shape I need to go to the gym each day to make sure to achieve that goal. Lastly is habits, make it a HABIT of accomplishing goals, big or small. If you listed out every one of your goals each day and crossed off each goal as the day went on you would feel like a million dollars. Think quickly the last time you made a to do list and realized you could cross something off, good feel eh? Same thing with writing down every goal it gives you more energy to accomplish the next one.

Accomplishing goals is a great thing and something we all need to do to make it through the day! On a personal note I use to suck at this and I still em not the best but I am getting better. Hopefully I will be able to get this perfected one day!

Goodbye for now,

Christian Sawka





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Notice

Hey Guys,

So first off sorry I have not been posting these last few days is I am just recovering from being sick for about 6 days and my pre-written blogs had run out. Sadly I am also a student which means I cannot be a full time writer, singer or dancer but that is life right? So hopefully no one has thought I was giving up I just needed to recover in my health.

So lets just right back into it! If you have noticed a trend lately it has been talking about being confident and secure in who you are. This one is some what different but still in the same family. This is a topic that I have had to deal with most of my life which is this idea of being notice. So a little bit about me that might shock people is that I was quiet and reserved in everything I did up until about grade 9, then I became loud. Since then I have been outspoken, loud and usually quiet noticeable but not always in a good way. What I mean not in a good way is by being noticed by the loud statements I would make, by being obnoxious all the time and doing stupid things. 

How do I get noticed?

Be boldness but not loud, stick to who you are.

This is the simple question I asked myself and guess what it was another thing that had a semi-complex answer. Ill break down the statement I made, be bold but not loud. Being bold often times get used wrongly. Being bold means standing out it doesn't mean though being loud. Some of the boldest people I know are quiet. What should be the boldest thing about your life should be your actions. That is how you get noticed. Yes talk, yes it doesnt hinder to talk to people but let your actions speak way louder then your words EVER could. That is something I wish I could change was how I gotten to be know at my high school and university. I would have liked my 'positive' actions to be the thing that got me noticed. It seemed in my first year I was so caught up in talking up myself and being an idiot that I got that reputation. 

I guess that is my life lesson, let your actions get you noticed. The people that are often noticed the most are lead by their actions. You can look anytime in history, some of the greatest speakers may be noticed for a bit but not remember. It was the men of action that are noticed and remembered. Take a second to view your own life about the people you admire and notice the most on a regular basis. Are they the people that are loud at always get the attention? or are they the people who on a consistent basis positively impact friendships and their community?


The other quick thing I have to say before getting some sleep is this, stick to who you are. One thing I suffer with is who I am changes a little bit when I get in groups. I am usually good at sticking to who I am as a person when it is one on one. But when I get in groups I get a little uncomfortable. This is something that takes a while to develop and something I am working on. So maybe me talking about this can help you work on it now so you dont have to do it later! Try to be the same person in a group as you are one on one. That is the biggest way to get noticed is consistency in character!


I am tired though and time to sleep!


Goodbye for now,
Christian Sawka

Do You Like Me?

Hey Guys,

This is an interesting topic, I am not specifically asking do you like me, but rather being like by the general populous. When I was going through my RA training we took these tests called Strengths Quest. This test was to try and find what our strengths were, guess what one of mine was? Woo'er! Yes a Woo'er what that basically means is this, someone who likes to be like, a charmer. So this has always been something I have struggled with, which is what do I need to do to get people to like me? Especially when I was going through my depression it was the worst, I was always fearful people would stop liking me or something like that if they knew what I was going through. If they KNEW what I was actually like they would not like me. If I was MYSELF they would not want to get to know me anymore. Well what I am quickly realizing is this... it is something I am always going to have to deal with. Now I am not perfect and I know there are people that straight up do not like me, either because of stuff I have done, they way I have acted or the way I act. I am learning to be alright with that but that comes in time. 

So the question I asked was this:
What do I need to do to have people like me?

Be yourself and people will respect that and like you for you.

Another simple simple simple answer to a very complex question. Shockingly this goes hand in hand with how to get a girl to like you. Who would have guessed right? I had a boss once that told me this "Selling is the same as picking up girls, if you are good at selling you should be good at picking up girls". Well I do not entirely agree with that, there is some truth with in it. Selling, Picking up girls and having people like you all boils down to one thing. Liking who you, yourself is. (Woops I think I just shared something personal but that is for a different blog). Something I believe we struggle with a lot today and now which is never feeling like we are good enough.  Now I am not going to pretend that I always feel like I am great person, some days I feel like I am not good enough, or not adequate enough or not capable. But there is one thing I can tell you which, is something I had to learn a long time ago which is be confident in who you are. Regardless of strengths and weakness be confident that you are trying to improve who you are. People will always like the person who is trying to help themselves be better, then the person who never will. Maybe that is the key to getting people to like you, it trying to better yourself.


This doesn't mean just focusing on yourself, and just trying to improve yourself. This means trying to improve on your weakness which could be a load of things. For me I know some of my weakness is that I am arrogant, sometimes forget to be grateful, forget about other people when making decisions and get lonely pretty quickly. These have gotten me into a lot of trouble in my years in high school and in my years here at Trinity Western University. But life goes on, I am trying to work on these but as I am starting to learn it takes times. Back to the point though how do you need to do to get people to like you? Be confident in who you are, be confident in the unique and original character you are, remember the people around you and always try to work on your weakness. I cannot guarantee this will make people like you but it is a step right? It is hard to respect/like someone who does not respect and like themselves. Or maybe that is just me.


Goodbye for now,
Christian Sawka

How to get a Girl

 *THIS IS A DISCLAIMER*
If you are reading this blog post you must read the entire blog post. No stopping half way through, if you do you will not understand the full importance of this post. Therefore you must read right to the end.


So I posted on my blog a few post back simple life questions that I have faced. I wrote that I would be doing a little mini-series on a few of the questions. So here is the third part, how to get a girl. 
 
How do I get that girl?

Tell her how you feel and ask her out.

Often times we think getting a girl, or getting a date or asking someone out is the hardest task we will face as guys. Well I am here to share a few secrets on the situation:

First off it acting confidently at all times, not arrogant or prideful but acting confidently. Knowing what you are saying and pretending to have the answer to everything. This does not mean correcting a girl, or trying to show off how great you are but it is not showing weakness i.e. flaws. 

Secondly, the thing you need to remember is NEVER fear rejection ever. You will miss 100% of the shots you never take. Going along with this idea of confidence the best way to get a girl or to get a girl on a date is to just ask her out, no reservations. We create this idea of how we should ask a girl, or what moves we should take or stuff like that when really just asking straight up is the best policy


Thirdly, avoid talking about flaws or weakness. Often these can show that you are not as good as you want to be. You do not want to show the weak points of yourself. Showing your weaknesses will make you less attractive.


Fourthly, if you have listened to a word of this and take this seriously then you need to do some soul searching. Too often we listen to these ideas about how we need to act, how we need to pretend to act or how we should be is something I think we all suffer with. Something I do suffer with is trying to pretend to be something I am not, over exaggerating and trying to hide my weaknesses. The reason I used this title about how to get a girl is because I believe this is something pushed in our society. Or maybe it was 'just' me. Maybe it was just me but we are pushed to pretend something we are not. So let me get back to the point 'how do you get that girl' you be who you are. Shockingly simple eh? I have found this, that pretending to be something your not can only save you for a short time till the real person in you comes out. So I guess the best advice if you actually want to get a girl is this, do no fear rejection, do not fear your flaws, and be confident in who you are. You can pretend all you want to try and find a girl or anything like that. Until you stop pretending to be something your not and be confident in who you are it will be difficult.


Hope this advice help, something I've had to learn over the years!


Goodbye for now,
Christian Sawka

Dealing with Problems

This will be Part 2 of "Simple Life" Questions


How do you deal with problems/conflicts?

Deal with it right away, seek conversation and resolve quickly.

If only it really was that simple right? I think sometimes we forget how hard conflict is to deal with. From my own personal experience I know I have dealt with conflict/problems well and also pretty horribly. It basically breaks down into these few things, deal with the problem right away, seek a converstation resolution and no email and also resolve it as quickly as possible. Something I have learned from my life is that conflicts can quickly evolve from something small into something huge if not dealt with. A lesson I was taught about in life was this, Eat you Frog. The story goes like this, if you had to eat a live frog every morning when you woke up the rest of your day would be better. This is because you would know that, eating that FROG would be the worst thing in your day. Now DO NOT actually go out and eat a living frog I do not condone that. Instead figure out what the hardest task you will have to do today is and do it first. Then you will know the rest of the day will be easier!


That goes directly into conflict resolution, if you take the conflict and deal with it first right away it will not be as big or as stressful as leaving it. In my life even simple conflicts that probably could has been resolved with a simple 2 minutes talk have escalated into catastrophic fights over next to nothing. The reason my first point with dealing with it right away is this... do not let it evolve. Problems evolved quickly from simple I am upset into anger, frustration and eventually hatred. Like all things in life procrastination can cause a fair amount of damage in your life. I am a pretty bad procrastinator myself and I am probably preaching something I suck at but learn from me! Procrastination is never good unless you are Mr. Weurch (If anyone gets that reference 100 points to you). When you procrastinate conflicts it allows for conflicts to grow exponentially. Think for a second in your life, when has a conflict started as something small and then just blown up? Was it because that small issues was given time to build, then brought in other issues and eventually just exploded? Maybe that is just me but that seems to happen to me.


The next 'pointer' I will give is this, seek conversation, not confrontation. Conversation is when you allow and open discussion about what is going on. Sometimes we might perhaps out of emotion confront people instead of having a good conversation with them. A lot of good can come from talking to people, a lot of bad however can come from confronting. You will quickly know the difference because you will see the reaction of the person. If they are quick to flip out at you, yell at you or start crying you might be doing something wrong. Then again some people just are angry and emotional people :)


Lastly and sort of the conclusion of everything, resolve it quickly this sort of goes hand in hand with deal with it right away. But try and not only deal with the problem but find a resolution quickly. It will take you about 30 seconds to find issues that have long been postponed around you, and in the world. It maybe even take you 30 seconds to find something you have not resolved in your own life. Even as I am writing this I am thinking of conflicts in my life I need to resolve either with friends, at work or just in everyday life. The quicker you come to a resolution in life the better it feels. I mean look at my depression and how that started, one of the factors was that I did not resolve a conflict I had in my life. It took a long drawn out process before it finally finished and there was some resolutions and peace that came into my life. But that is just me, maybe it is just me that I like to live with a conflict free life. Rarely do I EVER achieve that, but that is life.


Goodbye for now,
Christian Sawka

Calling

Hey Guys,

Something I am struggling with right now and trying to figure out is my calling for my life. You know those people you just seem to hate. Those people who seem to have their whole life together, know exactly what they want to do and have everything together? I use to be one of those people, since I was in grade 4 I could remember that I wanted to be in business, I wanted to be like those guys off wall street, I wanted to be like my Dad. To prove my point I will say this, that for Halloween in grade 4 I dressed up like a business man because that is what I wanted to be. Even through my entire time at high school I could not wait to get to university to study business because that is all I wanted to do. I believe that is what I was called to, that is what I enjoyed and that is what I am passionate about.

Things change though, I am sitting here now in my third, almost fourth year of schooling wishing I would have either gone into education, psychology or history. Though,  do we actually ever know what is going to be our calling for the rest of our life? I was listening to someone today who said this, we will find something that we love to do for 10 - 15 years and then we are going to need change. Whether it would be a change in our career, a change in our environment and a change in something small we need change. I wonder if this is my time in my life for change?

I have a fair amount of things I do on a regular basis, whether it be at subway or as big as my major there are things I do on a regular basis. For subway on a random note: I get Italian Herb and Cheese, Footlong, Cold Cut Combo, White Cheese, Toasted, Light Lettuce, Cucumbers, Southwest Sauce, and Salt/Pepper. I know that is not important in anyway but it gets my point along maybe I need some change in my life. On a deeper point I have lost my focus/calling in my life. However I am at peace with that because I think I have spent too much time just doing what I was good at but now what I loved.

It is really simple, I know I have mentioned this before BUT the best thing you can do in life is do what you love, the rest will follow. My business mentor told me this, your mom was right, do what makes you happy. SO BASIC right? Sometimes the biggest things in our life are the simplest. Look at this:

What do you want to do with your life?

What ever makes you happy, you are passionate about and what you love to do.

How do you deal with problems/conflicts?

Deal with it right away, seek conversation and resolve quickly.

How do I get that girl?

Tell her how you feel and ask her out.

What do I need to do to have people like me?

Be yourself and people will respect that and like you for you.

How do I get noticed?

Be boldness but not loud, stick to who you are.

What do I need to do to accomplish my goals?

Hard work and support.

These are some of the hardest questions I have ever faced in my life. Yet they have the simplest answers of all time. If only it was that simple to get through it though. Next week starting today through Tuesday, I am going to go into these topics one by one and write about them. Well lets look at this first one, what do you want to do in your life? I do not know what I want to do. I do not claim to be able to tell you what you want to do but I can tell you how I am figuring out it and what you can do too. So here is my advice, ask the people closest to you. Something I have started to see in my own life is that it is the people closest to me who know what I should do. The reason is because the see you everyday, they see your strengths, your weakness and your passions. Who else would know you better? Minus maybe a wife but until that day we get married the people that will know you the best our your friends. Next ask your parents or mentor, they will know you just as well and will probably be look at your life in a more logical aspect. For example they will think of stuff I might over look, finance, supporting a family and surviving in general. 

Another way you can try to figure out what you want to do is list your priorities. Figuring out what is the most important priority in your life and find a job/career that is going to fit around that. For me I figuring out what is the most impactful and important things in my life. I want to have a family, I want to be involved in a church, I want to do mentorship, I want to serve in the community and I want to have enjoyment in my life. There is more to that list but that is a foundation, it eliminates a few jobs from my choices. Try doing something like this, list everything you want to accomplish, places you want to travel, things you want in life and other life goals. If you do that, you will quickly find out what jobs/career path fit down that.

These are strategies I have taken, maybe they will work for you too! I am trying to figure out what my calling is but first I have to figure out what is a priority for me right? That will be the first step figure out what is important for you and your career will fit that!

Goodbye for now,

Christian Sawka

Helping People

Hey Guys,

Today I am going to give you the biggest secret and tool to help you for the rest of your life. Completely free of charge with no strings attached AT ALL. Are you ready? Well you are going to have to read the whole blog before I tell you. Just joking, YOU CANNOT HELP SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT WANT TO BE HELPED. If you take this statement and accept this it really will positively affect your life. Now I am not saying that statement to ward you away from helping anyone else. But being someone who does care a fair amount for people, being someone who always wants to help and being someone who never wants to see someone go through life alone, this was tough for me to understand.

When I look back at my life and look at the times I tried to help I realize the only time I can help people is when they wanted help. As much as I do not like to admit it it was NOTHING to do with me, people have to want to be helped. Maybe it is just me here but it has been a difficult idea for me to fully grasp that ultimately I cannot do anything. The reason I started this blog was to try and help people who have or are going through depression. Something I have realized though is that this blog cannot help anyone unless they themselves want help. This is not a giving up attitude saying I am not going to try and help people it means that I need to accept I cannot fix everyone.

Maybe I have a scued idea of what it means to help someone and what it means to fix someone. I often combine the two together but I think they might be two separate things but oh well I am using them as the same. Helping people I think is something that is built into everyone of us. I do believe that ultimately we like to help people to a certain extent, some more then other but deep down we still like to help people. Just be careful right?

You have to be willing to share apart of you though when helping someone. I am not an expert in helping people sadly, I love to but I often feel like I fail half the time. Well more then half. That comes with being human though right? Something I talked about with Lauren, who also writes about struggles, she writes about eating disorders, was that we are not professionals. I know this might shock everyone but I am not a professional in helping through depression. I can tell you my experience, what worked for me and how you can help yourself but I cannot ultimately help you and fix you. As much as I would like to.

For some aspects of life I believe that things are a choice, this is something I believe in that is a choice. I think people need to choose to want to be helped. If you come up to me in October you were going to get me over depression I would have told you yes but nothing would have changed. This was not because I did not want to help myself but I did not even know how to or where to start. I was still denying it at that point and did not want to help myself because I did not want to admit there was something wrong. I guess that is my final point from my experience you cannot fix someone that goes not want to be helped or fixed. In my life it had to be a choice to get help, it was a difficult one but eventually I made a choice to get help. That is all you can really do, until someone asks for help it is going to be difficult to help them!

Goodbye for now,

Christian Sawka

Pornography

PORNOGRAPHY, this is something our culture suffers with. I am not just saying guys because I have known many girls to suffer with this too for a few different reasons. Pornography is something that our culture has taken an accepted and made as something normal.  I come from a Christian background who talks about how pornography is negative. I also do actually live in this world, especially a world that has no problem with pornography. Actually I think we are at the point where we almost encourage it and something is wrong if you do not look at it on a regular basis. Being a guy I think I am well equipped to talk about it. First off I am human and I have look at pornography, I think you will be hard fetched to find someone in today's culture who has not. In this blog I am just going to talk about a few misconceptions and just talk about struggles it has had on me.

Biggest misconception is this, pornography is something that GUYS AND GIRLS struggle with. I hope that is not a shock for anyone at this point in their life but it is true that it is something both genders struggle with. Whether it be for arousal reasons or for body image reasons girls struggle with addiction to pornography too. I do not claim to be an expert that understands the female mind (wish I did) but I do not. What I am talking about is based off personal experience and knowledge hence my blog :)

Something I noticed in my personal life is the more I look at pornography the more I idealize woman and have trouble getting to know them. This might sound weird or it might sound normal though, the more I started looking and idealizing these perfect woman the more difficulty I have/had looking at people as just another person. I do have good news right now which is that it is not a problem for me in my life right now but in the past it has been a bigger problem. In my own experience the time it was a biggest struggle for me was when I was bored and had nothing to do. It has seemed in my life the time I was looking at pornography the most was when I had nothing else to do with my time. It had become some what of a natural thing. Just like what ever NO BIG DEAL, I think that is something that has happened now is that it is no big deal anymore.

If you have not noticed by now I am not a huge fan or the looking or pornography. Unfortunately it is something I struggle with and have this weird feeling that this struggle I have will not just go away. I believe that looking at pornography is a negative thing, I do believe it alters our view of woman or men and will ultimately be negative upon a relationship. A idea I have about why pornography has become to prominent in our society is because of the glorification of sex outside marriage. It may just be a chicken and a egg discussion about what came first. Was it that pornography became normal or was it that the glorification of pre-martial sex came first? That is for another day though.

I do believe looking at pornography has a negative effect on your character, it would be really difficult for you to convince me of the 'benefits' of it! The hardest part though is this, it is not easy to just get rid of pornography from you're life. The temptation is everywhere, even today I have seen  about ten Ad's, stories or news articles regarding or including pornography. It is difficult to take it out of you're life. The only advice I can give is this get someone to keep you accountable to stay away but it is all a choice if you want to stay away. I know a fair amount of people that could honestly care less about watching or looking at pornography or not. It is all a choice we can make. My personal choice is to try and stay away, I am sure as heck not perfect and it is pretty difficult in today's day and age.

Goodbye for now,

Christian Sawka

Mentoring

Hey Guys,

I have posted before on the importance of parents/mentor before (Parents/Mentor) but I want to steer away from the parents aspect and focus more on the importance of having mentors in the work place, and life. So first is work place, I have a great mentor for the business program. I eventually want to go into coaching, mentoring and consulting but that is down the line. My mentor has started to showed me what steps I need to take and has helped me focus my education and life for that point. Then there is a life mentor which is someone who basically just helps you stay focused, helps you through issues and helps you learn from the mistakes they have made and you have made. I would consider myself blessed and say I have a few people in a 'mentorship' position who on a pretty regular basis will help me stay focused in life.

First, business mentor / work mentor. I will always encouraged anyone who is going into the work force to get a mentor of someone who has done it before. We live in a society that is not longer just going to accept that you have a degree to know what you are doing. We are at a time where there is a larger amount of educated people and fewer and fewer jobs. So what can you do to separate yourself? Something my mentor told me was this, take people to coffee. Find out what you want to do, find the best in the business and take him or her to coffee. Ask advice, come with questions and seek contacts and networking. Maybe I just did not think about it but it seems like a great idea I had not thought of before.  This is the importance of a mentor, someone to help you get on track with your career. How often do you and I feel like we have no idea where we are going, what we are doing, or what we should do for the rest of my life. OR maybe that is just me that gets fixated on that kind of stuff... BUT I really do not think it is, I think anyone at my age (20ish) has a problem with worrying about the future, heck I bet ANYONE in there life usually has a problem with this. SPOILER ALERT HERE IS THE SOLUTION: Get a mentor, get someone to help you think this out and find someone who is knowledgeable. It really is that simple (kinda of) but just having someone to help you think things out and find a direction is an immeasurable amount of value. DO IT. I feel like this is ad-placement but it is for something I truly believe in and I am passionate about.

Second, a life mentor. I know this sounds a little bit more strange but let me take you through a series of questions and if anyone of them you answer yes to you should get a mentor. Struggle with direction in life? Seem to be making the same mistakes over and over? Not sure what you want to do in life? Trying to figure out who you are? Trying to figure out how to overcome your weakness? Those are just a few and there are a ton other I could ask but you get my drift right? I wish that I had mentor through my depression. That is one of the main reason why we, and I need mentors is because when the tough times start coming we need someone who has gone through or knows/seen someone go through it. As much as we pretend to know everything in life and be these strong people we are actually pretty weak and scared. Lets not pretend like this world is not a scary place. I mean heck I am nearing graduation and I am already freaking out. But I hope this is normal and that I am not just making a big deal out of nothing.

That is all I wanted to share today was to get anyone who is reading this regardless of age to try and find a mentor, try to find someone who wants to and is willing to see you improve. I think this is one area we need to be a little selfish. It is great to think about other people and try an help everyone out all the time but sometimes we need to make sure we help ourselves first. So find a mentor for life and for work, gain knowledge, wisdom and understanding. Then one day pass it on!

Goodbye for now,

Christian Sawka

Belonging

Hey Guys,

Tonight Trinity Western University won the CIS National Championship. We have the best volleyball team in the country (Canada) so take that anyone who goes to any other university! It was a great game we absolutely destroyed Brandon in three straight sets. There is very few experiences that I have found yet that then watching your team win and be the best in the country. On that though, I started to think what does it mean to actually be apart of something and what impact does that have on us and a community.

It was a amazing thing for our community, we all came together under the Spartan name. It is something we always do. When there was the female soccer nationals we all came together when they had a chance to win. We did it when the guys soccer nationals were here even when they lost. Now we have done it again to support our men's volleyball. They did not disappoint in anyway which was great! It was great to see people from all sides of our community come out. People who normally would never EVER come to a Spartan game came on out. I am kind of sorry for the people that did not get to experience it for themselves!

Something I noticed though was the amount people felt like they were apart of something great. I see why now people get so passionate about sports team. It makes sense it gives you this sense of being apart of something and accomplishment. Today I feel like I won even though I probably did nothing except lose my voice. Maybe I am over thinking this all but today I 'technically' accomplished nothing. I had a great time, had a great experience but did not accomplish a task, a goal or anything.

I am not saying do not support teams or your school because its meaningless, no I am not saying that. I am saying though I can see how it is pretty easy to get caught up in something where you feel like you belong. When I was in grade 10-11 I got addicted to World of Warcraft because that was a place that I felt like I belong, that I had a purpose and something to accomplish. It is easy to look back at that time and see wow that was stupid but during that it seemed normal. When going through depression I wanted to cling on to anything to feel apart of something. For me I would sit in TWUSA all day and try an feel apart of something or feel like I was making a difference! Turns out I began just sitting around trying to be apart of something.

I still think it is a great thing to be involved and belong to a lot of different clubs, organizations, sports teams and faith groups. However there is always a air of caution that is needed that it does not overtake your life and become 'your' life. How often do we see people get consumed by their work? or consumed by their hobby? or consumed by something that makes them feel wanted and a place they feel important? It happens a lot, so do not let it happen to you :)

Goodbye for now,

Christian Sawka

Pride

~ Pride is an admission of weakness; it secretly fears all competition and dreads all rivals. ~

- Fulton J. Sheen

Something I suffer with and something I believe is that the majority of guys and girls in our generation suffer/struggle with pride. Pride can be a good thing or a bad thing but is rarely is it a positive thing. Let me explain that statement. Pride is a good thing when you are trying to fake confidence, trying to hide your own insecurities and show the world that everything is fine. Pride is a bad thing when we actually want help, when we are fearsome about things in life and when we do not believe we are good enough. Pride is rarely positive unless it is pride is a school, or pride in a faith you have or pride is a positive change (ending slavery for example). However, for the most part pride is a negative aspect of our human nature.

When I was going through depression something I noticed which lines up with this quote is that at the peak of my depression my pride was the highest. Being a guy and going through depression is a tough thing because in this society we are shown what a guy should be like. Or maybe it is my own image of what a guy should be but we should be strong, courageous and also should not let this phase us. But how does depression and pride play into this? Well it is simple depression can start as simple as believing we do not fit the mold that society has for us. Pride is what keeps us trying to pretend we are more then we are. Take a second to evaluate your own life how often does pride come in the way of being vulnerable. I mean I can count on my hand the number of times it has for me, the problem is I have gained a lot of hands along the way. 

Even after depression and in the recovery of it I have noticed that pride is still a fault in my life even though depression might not be. I find myself whenever I get scared or nervous or loss confidence I resort to pride because it is a wall I can and have put up. I believe I am getting better with this because the first step in getting over something is being able to acknowledge when something is happening. I am starting to notice now when I am getting prideful and in return it allows me to realize that I am scared of something. It is good to finally get to the point in your life when you can use pride to recognize your weaknesses. 

So I want to conclude with this and go back to my main point, pride is not a great thing. The 'good' aspects of it are not actually great things they more entail being fake and not real. Who really wants to be someone they are not? Great statement eh? In a lot of ways I think we all want to be someone more or someone we are not because that is what we are taught in our society that we are not good enough. I guess my warning to you is this, do not let pride be your scapegoat in this situation. Otherwise people will not be able to help you and you will not be able to help yourself. Hopefully you guys take a lesson from me instead of having to experience it yourself. Let you control your pride instead of letting your pride control you.

Lastly I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who is reading and who has been following my blog. I would like to encourage you guys to comment if you have any questions or message me if you want to know more about anything!

Goodbye for now,

Christian Sawka