Prayer

October 24^th 2011

Today in my darkest hour is when I need you the most, today just as yesterday and forever I will need more of you of Lord. I am lost, and I am alone. I rarely feel like I am good enough, or even able enough to receive your grace, mercy, peace and love. “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” (Psalm 23:4) In these times I am reminded that nothing else will comfort me. No friend, no councillor, no nothing except for you oh Lord. I am prideful Lord; I struggle to humble myself down and Lord that hardens my heart. Lord, I long to experience your holiness, I long to feel your embrace and I long for your presence. Nothing on this earth or on this world compares to that oh Lord. Be my strength, be my wisdom and be the lamp unto my feet. I need you now more than ever, awaken my heart oh God.

Fear

Hey Guys,

It will never stop amazing me how fear can not only limit our ability but manipulate it. Recently it has come up in my life that I live a life that is crippled by fear. It is not something that I like to parade around, or let alone talk about but the truth of the matter is fear has such a control on my life it is scary. Now, I am not just talking about the simplistic fears we deal with, spiders or needles but the deep rooted fears we have in life. Such as fear of failure, fear of uncertainty, fear of success and the list goes on. For me personally I am currently dealing with the largest one of my fears. Which in my life, my fear of failure has plagued my life over and over.

Fear of failure is a rather simple one for anyone that knows me, I am rather competitive and the idea of losing is a difficult concept for me to wrap my mind around. But how does one manage to get over this fear? Do we one day wake up and it is gone? As I am beginning to take on more responsibility in life my fear of failing is becoming more prominent than ever. It seems when there is more on the line fear increases. As I attempt to try and lead or run any form of a group there is a exponential increase in my fear because people are reliant upon me. I wish I had the answers to these questions but I am finding more and more it is going to be something that will plague me for a long time. However it still comes down to a choice at the end of the day, do I want to live in fear?

Goodbye for now,

Christian

Feeling Adequate

Hey Guys,

I had the privilege of speaking at a youth group this week and I spoke on what it means to feel and to be inadequate. What I basically talked about is this that in this age group (15-30) there are always going to be feelings of being inadequate in everything you do sometimes they will be more prevalent then others but the feelings none the less will be there. It is a difficult task that sadly a lot of us are going to face. The only advice I have on this situation is this, acknowledge your weakness and strengths and accept them. I recently went through a job interview were I have congratulated on being extremely in tune with what my weakness and my strengths have been. That is probably one of my greatest strengths is knowing where my weaknesses are because in that I know where things are going to be tough. Back to being adequate take the time out of your day to find your weakness, that way you will also find out where you feel inadequate and hopefully that will solve the problem!

Goodbye for now,

Christian Sawka