You are More

Hey Guys,

I have been a Christian for what seems my whole life. I have the typical ‘good Christian’ story, I was born into a Christian home, a loving mom and dad, went to church and learned about Jesus (the answer to everything). There is one thing though that I never understood about God and every day it comes more and more a reality. I have struggled my whole life understanding that God’s grace is a gift, salvation is a gift, the cross is a gift.

The thing about a gift is, you do not earn it. You do not work for it. In some case, especially this one I do not deserve this.

I have spent my whole life knowing this, but not living this. With my word I could tell you all about God’s gift but I still felt like I needed to earn it to be saved.

I’ve always been able to see my sin and been able to see how screwed up I am. How much I have fallen short. Where my problem happens is instead of applying the gospel to my life I apply ‘Christian’s Gospel’ to the situation.

Christian’s Gospel says this:

•          You need to make the right choices
•         You must be good and never mess up
•         You should feel ashamed for your mistakes
•           You need to make a right for every wrong you have ever done
•          You cannot screw up, ever
•          God will only love you if you are good
•           Christ will only save you if you are worth it

I struggle so much in remembering what the TRUE gospel is, what the gospel Jesus says is. The gospel is Jesus’ life, death and resurrection. The gospel is Christ is in control.

The gospel is a gift not something earned, something given to us. It’s love, peace, grace… and it is ours not by the good we do but the great, the perfect Christ has done.

It is not by me being good because “God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” (Romans 5:8). Nothing I can do will earn his love, how do you earn something that is already given to you?

The reality is that “it is by grace [I, Christian] have been saved, through faith—and this is not from [my own doing], it is the gift of God— not by works” (Ephesians 2:8-9) It will probably take me my whole life to understand the depth of this.

There is one thing I know today though, that God’s gospel, God’s Gift and Jesus sacrifice… it’s a whole lot greater than mine.

Stars in the Sky

Hey Guys,

Like most nights I am late again, pondering life, plans and this guy named Jesus. This is not a rare occurrence for me as my mind usually ponders the deepness of God and all He is. Tonight was different though, tonight something was different than most nights. For the first night in many I knew God was there with me.

What made this night different was that I took a late night walk, I walked for about 2 minutes before I stopped. I stopped because I saw the big dipper, Orion’s belt, I saw the stars.

This seems ridiculous though, they are just stars. Massive gases burning producing light millions and millions of miles away. But I was reminded of something tonight. The God who created the stars, the creator of all, created me.

It was no accident, no mistake but purposeful creation.

I mean this is the God that “determines the number of the stars; he gives to all of them their names” 

(Psalm 147:4)

It leaves me in the same place that David is in, in the Psalms. That “When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him?” (Psalm 8:3-4)

For I am sinner, a man broken and in need of a savior.

At it comes down to this for me tonight, that for the creator of the stars, the heavens and the earth if he cares about each one of those… How much more does he care about me?

“How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
     They cannot be numbered!
   I can’t even count them;
      they outnumber the grains of sand!
   And when I wake up,
      you are still with me!”

(Psalm 139:17-18)

It is nights like this I am reminded “Why should I be afraid, When you placed the stars in place” (You Shine – Brain Doerksen)  I have nothing to fear, because God placed the stars, named them. But so much more, he loves a sinner like me.

Much Love,

Christian

Oh my God, where art thou?

I once had a dream. I dreamed big, I dreamed far and I believed God could. I do not know what has happened to me over these last months but those dreams are not there.

I felt so clearly God had called me to something great, to lay down my life and follow him. I pursued this for a while but somewhere along this road I replaced God with this world. I replaced the one God with idols of this world. I use to wake up with joy that has long been replaced with sadness and fatigue. Sometimes I wonder oh why could this be? 

I stress about the temporary and forget about the eternity. 

I focus only on the present and nothing on the creator.

Where did my love for God to? Where did my peace go? Where did my God go?

Did I lose him?

Did I misplace my God somewhere? 

God is never gone, never far away. Yet I did misplace him in my heart. I placed my lonelyness there, my need to be loved there, my need to be right, my need for a savior! I replaced my Savior with fillers.

I think my bible has more dust than a bookshelf, I pray as much as I run, and I worship as much as I clean (sparing at best)

I was at a conference on Thursday and the pastor said this 'Full-time minister part-time believer'. This sums up my life as it stands I am a full time student and a part-timer follower of Christ.

Hopefully today wakes me up, reminds me of where my focus is and who I should focus on. 

Hopefully...

Christian