Thursday, January 27, 2011


Hey Guys,

Lust is one of those difficult things that we face now especially in this age. Especially being a 20 year old in this generation it is almost forced upon us that we should be lustful after woman. You know the type society points out to idealize after the skinny girl whom is 'perfect'. It is probably the most difficult thing as a teenage guy to deal with is being shown everyday the type of girl you should like, the type of girl you should go after, and the type of girl we should sought after. Dale talked about this idea of lust a little bit tonight when I was at the Rec Service dinner and it made me think about just how prevalent lust is our society and within my life. He made this example that if only we could could be blind for a while and just listen to voice, to hear peoples voice and learn to like them for who they are. Well unfortunately we do not live in a society yet were we can just go blind and it is awfully hard to just to get to know someone without lusting after their physical appearance.

This is something I personally struggle with and I know that I am not the only person this is something common that we as people face. The impact that it had in my life was actually the worse during my depression because I was having such a difficult time in my faith and felt like I was moving away from God. During that time I found my self starting to objectify woman more, idealize and always just look at the best looking people I could find. It was a weird transition for me because often I have been a man that is about personality and usually do not find those 'most' attractive woman attractive at all. But during my depression where I was struggling in life I found myself becoming closer and closer and closer to society and that lustful nature. It was a weird feeling I found myself lusting after girls all the time which was a strange new concept for me (I know that sounds weird but I am not lying here I am actually being quiet honest). Trying to understand what it is like to all of the sudden objectifying woman is interesting and rather weird. 

Even now as my depression is starting to fade away I am still finding myself struggling with this idea of lust and lusting after physical contact. Shocker of the day that my love language is not physical contact at all. Anyone who knows me personally or believes the 'stories' that have been told about me should be somewhat surprised about this. I am not a person who needs physical touch but lately with this idea of lush I have been feeling like I should be more physical. It is something that I have to remind myself everyday and also have people who keep my accountable to not be physical at all. And I have failed twice this semester thus far and it is difficult because every time I fail the more and more it starts to make me feel like I've let myself down. The first time I let my lust take control I did not feel all that bad there was some regret but a little of me was like the typical guy saying yea way to go... not the way to act by the way. The second I was physical with some there was a lot more regret a lot more feeling that I have let my morals and what I said I would stand for down. And maybe that is me becoming more and more the person I once was the person who did not enjoy being lustful for or looking a woman purely for their physical looks. But like all things it takes time... This is something I have struggled with for a while and I do have my ups and downs I am just hoping that I will continue to learn how to stay away from a lustful nature.

This is just something that has been on my mind for a while about my struggle with lust... there is no lesson or overall improvement just my thoughts. Maybe here is a lesson... You cannot deal with your lust alone you need the support of people around you, and you need to remind yourself that it is not the greatest thing to give into lust. No it is not wrong to be attracted to someone but lusting after someone is totally different and is something you need to be fearful of because that is when you will do something you regret! Trust me I have gone through this before many times!

Goodbye for now,
Christian Sawka


  1. I find the whole "society points out to idealize after the skinny girl whom is 'perfect'" idea a little outdated. I doubt it's just me but I look for much more than looks when dating girls. Of course women try to make themselves look beautiful; however, their own style is their opinion. Subjective beauty is the new beautiful.

    It's natural to look at women and say, "damn, she's hot". That's not objectifying women. Even when you fantasize about women (like every guy does) you are not doing something you shouldn't be. It's built into our genes to lust after others; hell, evolution's purpose is to procreate.

    I honestly think you're beating yourself up over this. If you found yourself "objectifying women" then you need to step back and rethink your mindset. On the other hand, you shouldn't be afraid to be physical with women (in a love/lust sense). Love & sex is part of growing up and part of who you are. Trying to bury natural feelings in the sand is simply a bad idea.

  2. I generally enjoy reading your blog but this is a tangent:

    Is hardest thing about being a teenage guy really "being shown everyday the type of girl you should like, the type of girl you should go after, and the type of girl we should sought after"?

    Sign me up!

    Think about how young women must struggle in response to this "problem" of yours. Maybe at one point, after we give up all together, we were sitting around just wishing all you men would go blind for day so you could see past our unappealing exteriors...but in the end that's just patronizing. That sounds super tough though, having to look at us in the process of getting to know us.

    Also, Think of how the young women you've written about here must feel about being a case study in your discussion about lust; you are either pointing out their sin or you are saying that it's all your fault (because you are a "typical guy"), which is just as insulting.

    Women are just as human as you, and the differences between men and women are not as vast as TWU may have you believe.

  3. To the first comment, I am pretty sure I am being a little too hard on myself but we are, our own hardest critic right? I would rather be difficult on myself and face the reality of the situation.

    To "not a dude",

    Honestly it has been one of the hardest things that I have had to go through. Minus depression and suicide but otherwise it has been. Lets look at this it is not just the lust but also the effect those temptations has had upon the people around me? on my friendships, relationships and just general people. It is not just the lust but the effects it has had on it.

    That makes sense about the blind for a day, I am trying to figure this out it is nothing I have 'mastered' and something that frustrates me. I have mentioned no names on this and will never mention anything that has happened. Yes, stuff has happened and by no means am I trying to "pass the blame" I am saying this is my fault, I shouldnt let these temptations take control of my life. Anyone that have been involved with me has not sinned but it is my fault that I did not respect then and treat them how they should have been treated. There are very few times I will go through my life and not wish that I could take a few times back. I do not regret anything that happened but by golly I would take some stuff back. I do not want to pass this off as the typical guy scenario because the ultimate decision or stuff that has happened was my fault. I let myself and them down.

    I know it is not as VAST as TWU would makes us believe. I had a great discussion last night about it and I would agree with you. I also did overlook my blame i was putting on to the typical guy thing or being human.

  4. Breaking boundaries is 50/50, its two sides of the same coin. Don't victimize yourself over a situation like that. Yes you may have been overcome with lust and temptation but eventually at some point so was your partner. Although its unfortunate I think neither individual should accept complete blame. If you look to the story of Adam and Eve, God did not hold Adam blameless on the account that he was in part persuaded. Hopefully through this biblical account as Christians we can see how sin and lust “war against the soul” and ultimately pervert and destroy our most valuable relationships. Despite the damage that lust has played in your life, you no longer need to shoulder that burden, it was taken from you, it’s the price of your salvation.
    On a tangent and in response to “not a dude”, I think you have some really valuable and insightful things to contribute, but you may want to slightly modify your tone. It just detracts from the idea surrounding a blog like this which I’m assuming is centered upon Christian fellowship / testimony. Lastly I think it would be a really good idea if were to add your own blog through Christians or independently of his, as I’m sure a lot of people really need to hear about those issues which you began addressing aka (personal appearance, and lust).

  5. Thanks for your response
    I agree that this was not the most appropriate forum/tone, so I apologize. Anyone writing in such a self-reflecting voice as christian is would (obviously) focus on their personal POV and motivation, including myself.
    Like I said before, I enjoy your blog.

  6. Oh thank you for the input I really don't mind any questions or even telling me that I am an idiot. I will always respind to comments an messages.

  7. Christian,

    Thank-you for being open and honest enough to share about this issue - as you know, the idea of society objectifying women and implying that there is an 'ideal' type is something I am very passionate about standing up against and it is nice to see things from a man's perspective & to also see the ways this aspect of our society affects men. It is also such an encouragement to see a man stand up against this flaw in our society (despite how difficult it may be).

    On behalf of us all -- thank you!
    ~Lauren B