Lust is one of those difficult things that we face now especially in this age. Especially being a 20 year old in this generation it is almost forced upon us that we should be lustful after woman. You know the type society points out to idealize after the skinny girl whom is 'perfect'. It is probably the most difficult thing as a teenage guy to deal with is being shown everyday the type of girl you should like, the type of girl you should go after, and the type of girl we should sought after. Dale talked about this idea of lust a little bit tonight when I was at the Rec Service dinner and it made me think about just how prevalent lust is our society and within my life. He made this example that if only we could could be blind for a while and just listen to voice, to hear peoples voice and learn to like them for who they are. Well unfortunately we do not live in a society yet were we can just go blind and it is awfully hard to just to get to know someone without lusting after their physical appearance.
This is something I personally struggle with and I know that I am not the only person this is something common that we as people face. The impact that it had in my life was actually the worse during my depression because I was having such a difficult time in my faith and felt like I was moving away from God. During that time I found my self starting to objectify woman more, idealize and always just look at the best looking people I could find. It was a weird transition for me because often I have been a man that is about personality and usually do not find those 'most' attractive woman attractive at all. But during my depression where I was struggling in life I found myself becoming closer and closer and closer to society and that lustful nature. It was a weird feeling I found myself lusting after girls all the time which was a strange new concept for me (I know that sounds weird but I am not lying here I am actually being quiet honest). Trying to understand what it is like to all of the sudden objectifying woman is interesting and rather weird.
Even now as my depression is starting to fade away I am still finding myself struggling with this idea of lust and lusting after physical contact. Shocker of the day that my love language is not physical contact at all. Anyone who knows me personally or believes the 'stories' that have been told about me should be somewhat surprised about this. I am not a person who needs physical touch but lately with this idea of lush I have been feeling like I should be more physical. It is something that I have to remind myself everyday and also have people who keep my accountable to not be physical at all. And I have failed twice this semester thus far and it is difficult because every time I fail the more and more it starts to make me feel like I've let myself down. The first time I let my lust take control I did not feel all that bad there was some regret but a little of me was like the typical guy saying yea way to go... not the way to act by the way. The second I was physical with some there was a lot more regret a lot more feeling that I have let my morals and what I said I would stand for down. And maybe that is me becoming more and more the person I once was the person who did not enjoy being lustful for or looking a woman purely for their physical looks. But like all things it takes time... This is something I have struggled with for a while and I do have my ups and downs I am just hoping that I will continue to learn how to stay away from a lustful nature.
This is just something that has been on my mind for a while about my struggle with lust... there is no lesson or overall improvement just my thoughts. Maybe here is a lesson... You cannot deal with your lust alone you need the support of people around you, and you need to remind yourself that it is not the greatest thing to give into lust. No it is not wrong to be attracted to someone but lusting after someone is totally different and is something you need to be fearful of because that is when you will do something you regret! Trust me I have gone through this before many times!
Goodbye for now,