Guest Blog: Pornography

Guest Blog: The Secret Life of Porn by Anonymous

I am going to talk about a specific road in life: Pornography.

Scared? Big word? Taboo? Or are you finding it a lot more commonplace than you would expect these days? When we were given life we were also given a longing for purpose. And we were also given life in the presence of love. We have the opportunity to be known. We have yearnings, longings and desires that instil in us a need for something greater. These are good. I believe these are placed there by a higher power that wants us to grow, to discover and learn. Now we go to the other side of the spectrum and bring up a few points about how Pornography is not fulfilling any part of our soul’s desires.

First of all let’s talk about how it affects your perspective as an individual. Pornography draws you into stereotyping women. Porn wants you to believe that women will act in the way that is portrayed – that your interaction with them does not have to be built on anything more than watching them through a screen. You go to pornography to fill a need. It’s like a fix. You get your fix and then you are done.

Does that sound like a human bond meant to be shared by two people? Not to me.

It sounds more like a disposable appliance. Objectivity. Your sexuality is meant to be more than that; trying to differentiate between your sexuality while watching porn is counter-productive.

Are you trying to foster healthy relationships with other people while at the same time objectifying them? That’s like eating Krispy kremes to get ready for a marathon.

I believe that there are dark forces at work behind the scenes. Things that draw us back in and lies that we hear from voices we never want to talk about. Some of the major holds that porn places in a person’s life are shame and guilt. Your actions make you feel sick. A feeling that you have to hide what you are doing from everyone else. Suddenly you feel cold and utterly alone. You return to the addiction because you may feel it is the only answer left. Can you see how twisted this road is yet?

Something that builds on the shame and guilt aspects of pornography is the silence it instils; there is an air about the situation that demands silence. If you are part of a faith and you find yourself in this situation, call on the name of God. See how it feels. If you do not have a particular faith, try calling out to a loved one.

Why do you hesitate? Do you feel like you’re still in control? Or are you the puppet?

These are observations that I have concluded about pornography. I have one more.

There. Is. HOPE.

Hope to defeat a life lived in secrecy and twisted secrets. Hope in the darkness. You are called to live a life in the light, not needing to hide anything. So this is a call to all the broken under porn: are you going to live a muted life suppressed by porn? Or are you going to get up? Because when you have nothing to hide, you can finally start feeling free.

Sacrifice?

Hey Guys,

It has been a long time since I last posted a blog and that has simply been because I have been busy with work, hanging with friends and overall losing a routine of posting everyday. I should start getting back into a system soon of posting and sharing a few of the things I am learning. So today I want to talk about this idea of sacrifice. We all make decisions each day that require us to sacrifice, some are larger sacrifices than others but regardless of that we are required to sacrifice something for something else. In order to hang out with friends, I must sacrifice a little sleep and in order to work I must sacrifice some free time. The question I have been thinking about lately is how much am I and how much are you willing to sacrifice? 

Any decision that we make in life is going to cause us to have to sacrifice something else, it could me letting go of a friendship, it could mean walking away from a task or it could mean compromising your ethics, morals and values. Hopefully it never comes to that but it could happen. So I guess the question I am tackling is how much am I will to sacrifice for different aspects of my life. Like right now I do really enjoy hanging out with friends till the late hours of the night but how much of my sleep and health can I sacrifice? I also work right now which means everyday in order to get the work done I could cut corners but do I want to sacrifice my ethics? 

Sacrifice can be a great thing but it can also be a negative things when used in the wrong manor, sacrificing for the wrong cause and wrong reason can ultimately destroy what you were working towards. Therefore remember as you make each decision what you are going to need to sacrifice to get there!

Goodbye for now,

Christian Sawka

Forgranted

Hey Guys,

Having another tough night sleeping even though I have had almost a 16 hours day and probably a 17 hour day when this blog goes up. The thing I wanted to talk about today was this idea of things we take for granted. I had a conversation with a friend today who is visiting her family in Alberta and I asked her a question, which was how is it to be away from your parents? She respond saying it was tough, that she would at time miss them but that she also believe that if you live close to them you take parents and loved ones for granted. This statement got me thinking for the rest of the day and through my soccer game (because it was a blow out for us), it made me think what do I take for granted?

I live in a home with two loving parents, I have a car, I have my own computer and the list goes on of all the things I am absolutely blessed to have. So why do I take this things for granted? I have been trying to figure this out all night as to what causes me to take these amazing things I have for granted. First off I am an average to poor son at best because I forget holidays, birthdays and forget about what matters to my parents. I take for granted what has been given to me because I do not take care of it like I should or respect the items like I should. But it still does not answer my question? why do I take things for granted and how can I change this?

So the conclusion I have come to thus far as to why I and our society take things for granted. The ending I came to was this, we have started to expect these as normal. We have come to expect that we will be loved by our parents, that we will get what we want and forget that in fact, we have be blessed! I am not going to disagree some peoples lives are alot harder of mine but mine is really not horrible and yet I take that for granted everyday. I guess this is the lesson I am learning is never take your life, or the blessing you have for granted. Live tomorrow being thankful for everything given to you!

Goodbye for now,

Christian Sawka

Control

Hey Guys,

So something I am learning about myself is that I like to be in control of my situation. Today I tried something new, I went bungee jumping which was a whole new experience for me. I have never done something like that before because I was always too scared of heights, or of falling but basically what it came down too was not having control of my situation. There is something amazing that comes with bungee jumping off a bridge. Those two or three seconds where you have absolutely no control is something that I have never experienced before. It was after that I realized I love to have control. Which I believe is normal for our culture. We are a culture that loves to always be in control. I am starting to see that because I like to have control there are difference aspects of my life that get affected by it, weather it be with my parents, with my job, or on a sports team I like to have control of the team and situation at hand.

But what about losing control? In a healthy way. We are usually taught (or maybe that is just me) that we need to have control of our situation or else we are weak or not a strong leader. But I beg to differ with this idea, we need to give up some control. I, myself tend to push myself and try to take control of situations that do not require control. But there is some beauty and benefits to sometimes being a follower instead of constantly controlling the situation. After today I am starting to realized there are area's of my life that I need to give control up weather it be with sports, or with work you do not always have to be in control. As times goes on and as I learn a few lessons here and there, sometimes it would be nicer to learn from other people once and a while. This brings me to my main point which is this, in order to be a leader you must learn to follow and not always take control. I believe that is a common misconception that in order to lead you must have control.

I am not calling myself a great leader but on the flip side I believe I have a ton to learn before I will ever become a good leader. I have spent so much time believe that if you are in control it means you are a leader, therefore all you need to do is be in control right? Well that is very faulty logic. As time goes on I have learned that sometimes leading means following first, understanding how something works and not always taking control. I think I am repeating myself at this point so ill stop writing but that is what I wanted to talk about is save yourself a headache and let someone else take control!

Goodbye for now,

Christian Sawka

I Am A Manly Man

Hey Guys,

It has been a while since my last post. I would like to say thank you first off because as of yesterday I passed the 10,000 view mark on my blog which is mind blowing for me . When I started blogging I was hoping to just reach out to one or two people never really expected anything from this in anyway. It has truly been a blessing to everyone who has come back day after day and have read my blog! Furthermore, I would like to thank the people that have put up with my spelling thus far and will continue too (hopefully it will improve). So one to the point of today's blog. I am a MANLY MAN, or so I think. We always have a different idea of what a man is suppose to be, weather it be the Hollywood guy, the masculine man, or any other version we all have a perceived idea of what a man should be. But do not worry I am a manly man! The reason I keep saying that over and over is a friend showed me a great poem that has made me think lately. Here it is:

I don’t want my long hair, pretty green eyes, with ( no! I do not have on mascara. ) eyelashes, skinny figure, undersized t-shirt, hip shake too much when I walk confuse anybody. I am a manly man.

Within this sissy frame, obviously rib laden chest lies a heart that beats to the drum of a native American ritual dancing wildness. It pumps an ever cascading supply of untamedness that a herd of wild mustangs have yet to grasp. If danger lurks about, I will seek it out. If adventure abounds, there I will be found. If a damsel be in distress, I will show her who is best. I am a manly man.

Because I don’t flush, and I leave the lid up.

I drive a 1988 Ford Pick-up truck. Girls don’t break up with me, I break up with them first. ( Except the last time, it didn’t really work out like that… ) I don’t shave the hair on my face ( Because I still can’t grow facial hair yet… ) But when I can, I won’t, because beards are tough.

I fart, burp, and spit when I want, not caring who’s nearby. Disrespect my momma, and I will punch you in the eye. I am a manly man.

Or am I? I tell my guy friends that I love ‘em. And sometimes, sometimes I even hug ‘em. Not because I’m gay, but because I love ‘em. And when I watched Bambi, I cried. And when my Mema gets mad, I still run and hide.

Like David, I wanna be a man after God’s own heart. And I’m not there yet, but I’m past the start. And when people talk, I try to listen. A spirit of compassion, that’s my vision. Surely I am a manly man. I want to be loved and have love and give love.

And not just that romantic kind either. Although I am looking for that beauty.
Not helpless, but wants to be rescued. The damsel in distress, man, woman, myth, true. I will fight for her, climb the highest tower for her, love her, share with her, delight in her, be her warrior, her protector.

She will be my crown and I will be hers. My masculinity will be passed down and affirmed to my sons. And each of my daughters will know they are lovely, and deserving of authentic romance.

Society tells me all day long that I’ve defined manhood completely wrong. But you ask any honest man, and he will agree. You ask any honest woman, and she too will see, that I am a manly man.

-Bradly Hathaway

It is an interesting idea to think what is a manly man. We tend to put images to certain things and this is just another one of those images we create. The way men should be. I know often it is woman who are talked about, about being portrayed as being one way by the media but it is the same way for men too. We are shown how a a Man's Man should be. This made me start to think though... is that right? I do not believe the whole world's image of a man and a woman will change tomorrow. Actually I know that for sure that it will not change, the only way to change the world is by changing yourself. What I mean by that is that we can only control the way we are, not the way the people surrounding us are or how the world is. Let's change this then, what our perception of a male is. First off, stop making fun of us who play video games, or talk about starcraft :). I think the thing I am starting to learn that the definition of a manly man is a man who loves. Sure, we all show love in different ways but the man who loves is a manly man. Sometimes we are shown that men are not suppose to be emotional, or show love, care or anything that could involve emotion. That is my piece of advice for all males, show a little emotion once and a while, we are all human. 

Hope the week is going great for all of you and that life is good! Remember act human and show some emotion men!

Goodbye for now,

Christian Sawka

Back to Normal

Hey Guys,

I will be back blogging starting today (Monday, May 2nd) I took a quick break while trying to adjust back to being home and balancing. Look forward to hear from everyone and also share with you some things that have gone on in my life and the things I have noticed!

Goodbye for now,
Christian Sawka