Something that has been on my mind lately and has been on my mind since probably grade 10 is this idea can guys and girls just be friends? Now, before I start I do believe there are people who can be friends with no problems what so ever, who can just be friends. For me however, I have had difficulties just being friends with girls. I do not think that it is impossible, it is just difficult for me. The reason I think it is difficult for me and for most guys and girls is because of a few reasons, the natural physical attraction that happens, the comfortably that happens and the longing for companionship. This is just my experience and basically what I can pass on.
First, is this idea of physical attraction. I know that may seem extremely basic and self-explanatory but from what I have learned physical attraction is almost always there. Whether there is a large amount or just a minor attraction there is almost always a level of physical attraction even between friends. Especially at the beginning of a friendship. Over time I would like to believe that physical attraction goes away but at the beginning there is definitely the attraction. This is normal however I would find it weird if there was zero attraction. I believe as us just being human if we are friends with someone there is going to a level of physical attraction.
There is also a level of comfortably that happens with being friends. This is a good and bad thing. It is good because you want to be comfortable with you friends and share what is going on. Maybe it is only me but I also feel more comfortable with sharing with girls. This is not always a bad thing though, it does allow me to talk to people. My fear and what has happened in my life already is this feeling more comfortable with my friends as girls and limit my willingness to open up to my girlfriend. I am slowly becoming a firm believer in not having a large amount of girls as friends while being in a relationship. This is my fear in a way if guys and girls can be friends because eventually one female or male will have to be your one person. Someone once ask me what is the point then of even being friends if in the end you will just end it when you get a wife? Well I am starting to think like all friendships they need to change over time. But this is something to figure out what you guys individually think. Do you think guys and girls can be friends and stay friends through everything?
Lastly is companionship I think the reason that guys and girls have troubles being friends is that in some way or another we all long for companionship. This is a problem I have which is a long for companionship, I hate being alone I would rather have someone by my side. The healthy way would be to deal with my problems, get in a healthy relationship and then fill the void that way. However my problem is a try to fill that with different friendships. This is just me and why I have troubles with girls and guys being friends.
I am not saying guys and girls cannot be friends. I am saying though with me I have troubles especially in my past just being friends with girls. I am getting a lot better however. Especially in my small group at church I am learning how to just be friends with girls. One tip, hang out in groups not one on one. This is just me and my thoughts about guys and girls being friends. I am positive some people out there are better at being just friends then I am. Hopefully that is right. Do you think guys and girls can be friends and just friends?
Goodbye for now,