Do You Like Me?

Hey Guys,

This is an interesting topic, I am not specifically asking do you like me, but rather being like by the general populous. When I was going through my RA training we took these tests called Strengths Quest. This test was to try and find what our strengths were, guess what one of mine was? Woo'er! Yes a Woo'er what that basically means is this, someone who likes to be like, a charmer. So this has always been something I have struggled with, which is what do I need to do to get people to like me? Especially when I was going through my depression it was the worst, I was always fearful people would stop liking me or something like that if they knew what I was going through. If they KNEW what I was actually like they would not like me. If I was MYSELF they would not want to get to know me anymore. Well what I am quickly realizing is this... it is something I am always going to have to deal with. Now I am not perfect and I know there are people that straight up do not like me, either because of stuff I have done, they way I have acted or the way I act. I am learning to be alright with that but that comes in time. 

So the question I asked was this:
What do I need to do to have people like me?

Be yourself and people will respect that and like you for you.

Another simple simple simple answer to a very complex question. Shockingly this goes hand in hand with how to get a girl to like you. Who would have guessed right? I had a boss once that told me this "Selling is the same as picking up girls, if you are good at selling you should be good at picking up girls". Well I do not entirely agree with that, there is some truth with in it. Selling, Picking up girls and having people like you all boils down to one thing. Liking who you, yourself is. (Woops I think I just shared something personal but that is for a different blog). Something I believe we struggle with a lot today and now which is never feeling like we are good enough.  Now I am not going to pretend that I always feel like I am great person, some days I feel like I am not good enough, or not adequate enough or not capable. But there is one thing I can tell you which, is something I had to learn a long time ago which is be confident in who you are. Regardless of strengths and weakness be confident that you are trying to improve who you are. People will always like the person who is trying to help themselves be better, then the person who never will. Maybe that is the key to getting people to like you, it trying to better yourself.


This doesn't mean just focusing on yourself, and just trying to improve yourself. This means trying to improve on your weakness which could be a load of things. For me I know some of my weakness is that I am arrogant, sometimes forget to be grateful, forget about other people when making decisions and get lonely pretty quickly. These have gotten me into a lot of trouble in my years in high school and in my years here at Trinity Western University. But life goes on, I am trying to work on these but as I am starting to learn it takes times. Back to the point though how do you need to do to get people to like you? Be confident in who you are, be confident in the unique and original character you are, remember the people around you and always try to work on your weakness. I cannot guarantee this will make people like you but it is a step right? It is hard to respect/like someone who does not respect and like themselves. Or maybe that is just me.


Goodbye for now,
Christian Sawka

How to get a Girl

 *THIS IS A DISCLAIMER*
If you are reading this blog post you must read the entire blog post. No stopping half way through, if you do you will not understand the full importance of this post. Therefore you must read right to the end.


So I posted on my blog a few post back simple life questions that I have faced. I wrote that I would be doing a little mini-series on a few of the questions. So here is the third part, how to get a girl. 
 
How do I get that girl?

Tell her how you feel and ask her out.

Often times we think getting a girl, or getting a date or asking someone out is the hardest task we will face as guys. Well I am here to share a few secrets on the situation:

First off it acting confidently at all times, not arrogant or prideful but acting confidently. Knowing what you are saying and pretending to have the answer to everything. This does not mean correcting a girl, or trying to show off how great you are but it is not showing weakness i.e. flaws. 

Secondly, the thing you need to remember is NEVER fear rejection ever. You will miss 100% of the shots you never take. Going along with this idea of confidence the best way to get a girl or to get a girl on a date is to just ask her out, no reservations. We create this idea of how we should ask a girl, or what moves we should take or stuff like that when really just asking straight up is the best policy


Thirdly, avoid talking about flaws or weakness. Often these can show that you are not as good as you want to be. You do not want to show the weak points of yourself. Showing your weaknesses will make you less attractive.


Fourthly, if you have listened to a word of this and take this seriously then you need to do some soul searching. Too often we listen to these ideas about how we need to act, how we need to pretend to act or how we should be is something I think we all suffer with. Something I do suffer with is trying to pretend to be something I am not, over exaggerating and trying to hide my weaknesses. The reason I used this title about how to get a girl is because I believe this is something pushed in our society. Or maybe it was 'just' me. Maybe it was just me but we are pushed to pretend something we are not. So let me get back to the point 'how do you get that girl' you be who you are. Shockingly simple eh? I have found this, that pretending to be something your not can only save you for a short time till the real person in you comes out. So I guess the best advice if you actually want to get a girl is this, do no fear rejection, do not fear your flaws, and be confident in who you are. You can pretend all you want to try and find a girl or anything like that. Until you stop pretending to be something your not and be confident in who you are it will be difficult.


Hope this advice help, something I've had to learn over the years!


Goodbye for now,
Christian Sawka

Dealing with Problems

This will be Part 2 of "Simple Life" Questions


How do you deal with problems/conflicts?

Deal with it right away, seek conversation and resolve quickly.

If only it really was that simple right? I think sometimes we forget how hard conflict is to deal with. From my own personal experience I know I have dealt with conflict/problems well and also pretty horribly. It basically breaks down into these few things, deal with the problem right away, seek a converstation resolution and no email and also resolve it as quickly as possible. Something I have learned from my life is that conflicts can quickly evolve from something small into something huge if not dealt with. A lesson I was taught about in life was this, Eat you Frog. The story goes like this, if you had to eat a live frog every morning when you woke up the rest of your day would be better. This is because you would know that, eating that FROG would be the worst thing in your day. Now DO NOT actually go out and eat a living frog I do not condone that. Instead figure out what the hardest task you will have to do today is and do it first. Then you will know the rest of the day will be easier!


That goes directly into conflict resolution, if you take the conflict and deal with it first right away it will not be as big or as stressful as leaving it. In my life even simple conflicts that probably could has been resolved with a simple 2 minutes talk have escalated into catastrophic fights over next to nothing. The reason my first point with dealing with it right away is this... do not let it evolve. Problems evolved quickly from simple I am upset into anger, frustration and eventually hatred. Like all things in life procrastination can cause a fair amount of damage in your life. I am a pretty bad procrastinator myself and I am probably preaching something I suck at but learn from me! Procrastination is never good unless you are Mr. Weurch (If anyone gets that reference 100 points to you). When you procrastinate conflicts it allows for conflicts to grow exponentially. Think for a second in your life, when has a conflict started as something small and then just blown up? Was it because that small issues was given time to build, then brought in other issues and eventually just exploded? Maybe that is just me but that seems to happen to me.


The next 'pointer' I will give is this, seek conversation, not confrontation. Conversation is when you allow and open discussion about what is going on. Sometimes we might perhaps out of emotion confront people instead of having a good conversation with them. A lot of good can come from talking to people, a lot of bad however can come from confronting. You will quickly know the difference because you will see the reaction of the person. If they are quick to flip out at you, yell at you or start crying you might be doing something wrong. Then again some people just are angry and emotional people :)


Lastly and sort of the conclusion of everything, resolve it quickly this sort of goes hand in hand with deal with it right away. But try and not only deal with the problem but find a resolution quickly. It will take you about 30 seconds to find issues that have long been postponed around you, and in the world. It maybe even take you 30 seconds to find something you have not resolved in your own life. Even as I am writing this I am thinking of conflicts in my life I need to resolve either with friends, at work or just in everyday life. The quicker you come to a resolution in life the better it feels. I mean look at my depression and how that started, one of the factors was that I did not resolve a conflict I had in my life. It took a long drawn out process before it finally finished and there was some resolutions and peace that came into my life. But that is just me, maybe it is just me that I like to live with a conflict free life. Rarely do I EVER achieve that, but that is life.


Goodbye for now,
Christian Sawka