Friday, March 11, 2011

Dealing with Problems

This will be Part 2 of "Simple Life" Questions

How do you deal with problems/conflicts?
Deal with it right away, seek conversation and resolve quickly.

If only it really was that simple right? I think sometimes we forget how hard conflict is to deal with. From my own personal experience I know I have dealt with conflict/problems well and also pretty horribly. It basically breaks down into these few things, deal with the problem right away, seek a converstation resolution and no email and also resolve it as quickly as possible. Something I have learned from my life is that conflicts can quickly evolve from something small into something huge if not dealt with. A lesson I was taught about in life was this, Eat you Frog. The story goes like this, if you had to eat a live frog every morning when you woke up the rest of your day would be better. This is because you would know that, eating that FROG would be the worst thing in your day. Now DO NOT actually go out and eat a living frog I do not condone that. Instead figure out what the hardest task you will have to do today is and do it first. Then you will know the rest of the day will be easier!

That goes directly into conflict resolution, if you take the conflict and deal with it first right away it will not be as big or as stressful as leaving it. In my life even simple conflicts that probably could has been resolved with a simple 2 minutes talk have escalated into catastrophic fights over next to nothing. The reason my first point with dealing with it right away is this... do not let it evolve. Problems evolved quickly from simple I am upset into anger, frustration and eventually hatred. Like all things in life procrastination can cause a fair amount of damage in your life. I am a pretty bad procrastinator myself and I am probably preaching something I suck at but learn from me! Procrastination is never good unless you are Mr. Weurch (If anyone gets that reference 100 points to you). When you procrastinate conflicts it allows for conflicts to grow exponentially. Think for a second in your life, when has a conflict started as something small and then just blown up? Was it because that small issues was given time to build, then brought in other issues and eventually just exploded? Maybe that is just me but that seems to happen to me.

The next 'pointer' I will give is this, seek conversation, not confrontation. Conversation is when you allow and open discussion about what is going on. Sometimes we might perhaps out of emotion confront people instead of having a good conversation with them. A lot of good can come from talking to people, a lot of bad however can come from confronting. You will quickly know the difference because you will see the reaction of the person. If they are quick to flip out at you, yell at you or start crying you might be doing something wrong. Then again some people just are angry and emotional people :)

Lastly and sort of the conclusion of everything, resolve it quickly this sort of goes hand in hand with deal with it right away. But try and not only deal with the problem but find a resolution quickly. It will take you about 30 seconds to find issues that have long been postponed around you, and in the world. It maybe even take you 30 seconds to find something you have not resolved in your own life. Even as I am writing this I am thinking of conflicts in my life I need to resolve either with friends, at work or just in everyday life. The quicker you come to a resolution in life the better it feels. I mean look at my depression and how that started, one of the factors was that I did not resolve a conflict I had in my life. It took a long drawn out process before it finally finished and there was some resolutions and peace that came into my life. But that is just me, maybe it is just me that I like to live with a conflict free life. Rarely do I EVER achieve that, but that is life.

Goodbye for now,
Christian Sawka


  1. It is that simple, you lost me at the frog part. Resolving is only complicated because you are scared of standing up for what's right and you drag conflict out. Quit pussyfooting around the problem and it will go away.

  2. That is 100% right. That is very similar to what I wrote with some nicer language. You are right though, I do drag conflict out. Only when it is difficult to know what is 'right'. What happens when there is no right answer?