Striving

Hey Guys,


This was a blog I wrote for a different website, go check it out if you would like but I figured I would post it here at well. The website is http://www.jesusbigger.ca/


I was driving home, like I always do. Listening to music, like I always do when the song In Christ Alone came on. Maybe you know it, maybe you don't, but I know it well enough that I just tuned it out, I have heard it a thousand times. This time, however, the lyrics managed to hit me like a sack of bricks...

"When fears are stilled, when strivings cease..." These lyrics have been consuming my thoughts this last month. What would my life look like if striving ceased? When my fears are stilled?

I am a guy who thrives upon getting ahead, one up-ing people and constantly moving up in the eyes of the world. For anyone that knows me this is nothing new, it is evident in my life, sadly. Most of my life decisions are based around trying to get people to like me more or make myself seem more important.

The most extreme example of this came one summer when I was running a franchise for a company. I started of well, but as time progressed my sales lowered. To compensate I made up sales just in order to make my goal. I feared not being the best. All I wanted to do was impress people and to make a name for myself. Needless to say this did not end well for me.

I wish that would have been the end of my need to be better, but it is not. My life is marked by me constantly doing more and more to try and make a name for myself.

It is funny how those two lines are next to each other, "When fears are stilled; when strivings cease," maybe it is just me, but the biggest fear I have in life is will people like just me? Not some persona, or some act but plain old simple me. My fear constantly drives me.

Then the song reminded me that it is in Christ alone that strivings cease; that striving to have my name remembered, to be valued or to be liked can stop. It is in Jesus alone that, that is fulfilled.

We are reminded in the Bible to "Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation.  I will be honored throughout the world.” (Psalm 49:10) As I read that I am humbly remind that I do not need to make a name for myself, because Jesus has made a name for me; I do not need to be remembered because Jesus remembers me.

And that it is truly in Christ Alone that my striving ceases.


Much Love,
Christian

Bitterness

Hey Guys,

Something that has been plaguing my life lately is this idea of bitterness. Both generically in the idea of bitterness and the reality of being bitter towards people.

It has been a blessing and a curse that I have a decent memory. One great thing is that it helps me remembers useless facts and details about people. However the more negative side of it is that I always seem to remember when someone wronged me. Which proves negative for relationships, friendships and any human interaction.

Seemingly lately I have begun to realize that as little as I would like to admit it I am holding on to bitterness. The stupid thing about this  is that it does nothing for you. It does not even effect the person you are upset with. All it does is negatively affect you or in this case me.

I have been trying to spend this last week (weeks) to rid myself of the bitterness that has been dwelling within my life. In many ways to cleanse myself of this junk in my life. What I am finding is that although there is bitterness towards other people there is also bitterness towards myself. It is one of these vicious cycles in my life where I am upset with people, hurt and frustrated. Then in return I am angered with myself for not allowing these things to be let go.

As I am realizing I hold onto issues whether it has been frustration with my parents, or friends that have let me down, to not getting a job to anything along those lines I like to hold onto bitterness and pain.  

If there is anything I have been learning this last week it boils down to this point, let it go and lay it down. It is not healthy to hold on to these things, regardless the depths of how someone has hurt you, frustrated you, or anything holding onto bitterness does nothing except limit you.

Much Love,

Christian Sawka

Jump off a Bridge

This blog was published at (http://www.jesusbigger.ca/1/post/2012/06/go-jump-off-a-bridge.html) go check it out!

A while back I tried bungee jumping.

Now, for some of you that does not seem like a big deal, but for a guy who is terrified of heights, bungee jumping is a bigger deal. I'm scared of heights and I'm scared of falling (same same but different), but basically what it all comes down too is, I'm scared of not being in control.

There is amazing clarity that comes with jumping off a bridge. In those two or three seconds where you are absolutely helpless and are free-falling with complete hope in a plastic cord to save your life you can really come to grips with truth. And in those moments I realized I love to be in control.

I'm not alone. We are a culture that loves to be in charge, make our own decisions and dictate the circumstances of our lives. And I'm right there with you: whether it is with my summer job, my future calling in life, my where I am living or any single thing I am involved with—I want to be control.

I've been taught my whole life that the answer to any problem is to take the reigns and deal with it, 'If you want something done right, do it yourself', right? In these last weeks I have seen all my plans fall through, I am still painting (houses), living at home and have no idea where God is taking me. Suddenly I am in a place where I have been reminded of who is actually in charge of my life.

There is a proverb in the Bible that says, “A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” This is where I find my peace. Knowing that the God of the Bible is directing my path allows me to rest and trust that I do not need to stress about every detail of my life and that ultimately He will lead me. I believe He's smarter than I am, he's stronger than I am, and that He loves me. I believe I can trust him.

Here's the thing, I constantly forget that God is in control of my life; my present and my future. There's that cliché statement that I have heard, 'if you want God to laugh show him your plans'.

I Stress. Over-think. Process. Plan. Dream. Predict. Wish. About my life and future. But God's got this and maybe I need to work a little harder at reminding myself of who's actually in control. Because what it comes down to is this other great proverb...“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”  (Proverbs 3:5-6)

I spend the majority of my time leaning on my own understanding and not acknowledging God; trying to be in control. But it those times that I remember that God is in control that I find a great peace and I can jump off the bridge.