Oh my God, where art thou?

I once had a dream. I dreamed big, I dreamed far and I believed God could. I do not know what has happened to me over these last months but those dreams are not there.

I felt so clearly God had called me to something great, to lay down my life and follow him. I pursued this for a while but somewhere along this road I replaced God with this world. I replaced the one God with idols of this world. I use to wake up with joy that has long been replaced with sadness and fatigue. Sometimes I wonder oh why could this be? 

I stress about the temporary and forget about the eternity. 

I focus only on the present and nothing on the creator.

Where did my love for God to? Where did my peace go? Where did my God go?

Did I lose him?

Did I misplace my God somewhere? 

God is never gone, never far away. Yet I did misplace him in my heart. I placed my lonelyness there, my need to be loved there, my need to be right, my need for a savior! I replaced my Savior with fillers.

I think my bible has more dust than a bookshelf, I pray as much as I run, and I worship as much as I clean (sparing at best)

I was at a conference on Thursday and the pastor said this 'Full-time minister part-time believer'. This sums up my life as it stands I am a full time student and a part-timer follower of Christ.

Hopefully today wakes me up, reminds me of where my focus is and who I should focus on. 

Hopefully...

Christian 

Slowing Down

There are times I need to remind myself to slow down and smell the roses...

That is a funny statement coming from me, and a guy for that matter but lately what I have been noticing in my life is that I am perpetually busy. If I am not doing something I am pressing forward until I reach the next area. Moving from task, to task, to task. What happened to the days of slowing down and enjoying each moment.

By no means am I suggesting doing nothing but what I mean is enjoying the moment I am in. Enjoying the life that is going on right now. It scares me to think of all the simple things I am missing out because of the fact that I am going at 100 miles an hour. Whether it is work, or helping people, or serving or anything I am always filling my time.

In this last month I cannot remember a time I have taken the time to enjoy a good book, make myself tea or even taken the time to write. One weekend I was in Edmonton, next week I was in Eneumclaw, then followed by Blue River, and yet I was so on the move I can barely remember what I did any more.

I told myself this was going to be the 'Summer of Christian' and so far it has been a fantastic summer but there is something I have no done yet, rest and rested in the Lord.

I've been spending the whole summer working my butt off, travelling and constantly filling my time... Maybe rest is the answer now.

Much Love,
Christian Sawka

Striving

Hey Guys,


This was a blog I wrote for a different website, go check it out if you would like but I figured I would post it here at well. The website is http://www.jesusbigger.ca/


I was driving home, like I always do. Listening to music, like I always do when the song In Christ Alone came on. Maybe you know it, maybe you don't, but I know it well enough that I just tuned it out, I have heard it a thousand times. This time, however, the lyrics managed to hit me like a sack of bricks...

"When fears are stilled, when strivings cease..." These lyrics have been consuming my thoughts this last month. What would my life look like if striving ceased? When my fears are stilled?

I am a guy who thrives upon getting ahead, one up-ing people and constantly moving up in the eyes of the world. For anyone that knows me this is nothing new, it is evident in my life, sadly. Most of my life decisions are based around trying to get people to like me more or make myself seem more important.

The most extreme example of this came one summer when I was running a franchise for a company. I started of well, but as time progressed my sales lowered. To compensate I made up sales just in order to make my goal. I feared not being the best. All I wanted to do was impress people and to make a name for myself. Needless to say this did not end well for me.

I wish that would have been the end of my need to be better, but it is not. My life is marked by me constantly doing more and more to try and make a name for myself.

It is funny how those two lines are next to each other, "When fears are stilled; when strivings cease," maybe it is just me, but the biggest fear I have in life is will people like just me? Not some persona, or some act but plain old simple me. My fear constantly drives me.

Then the song reminded me that it is in Christ alone that strivings cease; that striving to have my name remembered, to be valued or to be liked can stop. It is in Jesus alone that, that is fulfilled.

We are reminded in the Bible to "Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation.  I will be honored throughout the world.” (Psalm 49:10) As I read that I am humbly remind that I do not need to make a name for myself, because Jesus has made a name for me; I do not need to be remembered because Jesus remembers me.

And that it is truly in Christ Alone that my striving ceases.


Much Love,
Christian