Mulligan

Hey guys,

Mulligan - A mulligan, in a game, happens when a player gets a second chance to perform a certain move or action. The practice is also sometimes referred to as a "do-over."

So I asked this question to a friend tonight, if you could do one thing over at TWU what would it be? I asked him not to fixate upon what he regretted or about what his greatest failure was or anything like that. It was simply to find out what is one thing you wish you could do over and what the effect would have been. I often think sometimes we blend regret and reflection together. In one hand we should not regret things that have gone on in our life, and in the other we need to reflect and understand what has happened. When you regret things (take this from someone who knows) it eats away at you, when you regret how you treated someone or how you acted or an event that went on... that is going to eat you from the inside out! Reflecting upon a decision and thinking how you could have done that differently is something different. Let me explain, at a friend's wedding I had a little too much wine to drink, mix that with lack of fluids and emotional distress created a bad mix. I ended up not being able to drive home and the emotional problems (depression) I was going through were amplified. Do I regret that decision to have a few glasses of wine, no. Do I regret having a few two many, no. Do I recognize that it was a stupid decision yes. Well what did I learn?

I learned that:

1. I still go to a school where everyone cares about everyone

2. Do not drink when your facing some emotional issues

3. Always plan ahead

Do I regret the night or anything, no. I had a great night minus a bad ending but that is alright I do no regret it. Maybe that is not the best example but here is the one that happened tonight, I did not treat a friend the best. Do I regret what I did, no, I have learned to not let things eat me up. But I reflect, I realize and I acknowledge that I cannot treat them like that. I had to learn and although it was not the best way of learn that I still need to let my emotions out in a healthy constructive manner. I guess that would have been my mulligan for today.

When I think about my depression it is easy to think I wish this never happened, I wish that I did not have to go through that and I wish that people would understand. Those are all lies, I do not regret for one second my depression or everything that went down. I reflect upon those days once and a while and they have given me a new appreciation for life :) When I was going through my depression (heading downward) I constantly was regretting things. Such as, why did I do that, why did I not get that done, why have a lost motivation... It is a tough process. Just think how easy it would be to go back and just fix that, wait that's regret right there. I wish I could fix that is a regretting phrase. I do not regret what went on, instead I am trying to reflect on it and think through so that I do not have to face it again!

So I leave you with this... what is your mulligan?

If you have followed my blog thus far you will know I am trying to live life without regrets, it is tough, but you should try it too!!!

Goodbye for now,

Christian Sawka