Today I am going to give you the biggest secret and tool to help you for the rest of your life. Completely free of charge with no strings attached AT ALL. Are you ready? Well you are going to have to read the whole blog before I tell you. Just joking, YOU CANNOT HELP SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT WANT TO BE HELPED. If you take this statement and accept this it really will positively affect your life. Now I am not saying that statement to ward you away from helping anyone else. But being someone who does care a fair amount for people, being someone who always wants to help and being someone who never wants to see someone go through life alone, this was tough for me to understand.
When I look back at my life and look at the times I tried to help I realize the only time I can help people is when they wanted help. As much as I do not like to admit it it was NOTHING to do with me, people have to want to be helped. Maybe it is just me here but it has been a difficult idea for me to fully grasp that ultimately I cannot do anything. The reason I started this blog was to try and help people who have or are going through depression. Something I have realized though is that this blog cannot help anyone unless they themselves want help. This is not a giving up attitude saying I am not going to try and help people it means that I need to accept I cannot fix everyone.
Maybe I have a scued idea of what it means to help someone and what it means to fix someone. I often combine the two together but I think they might be two separate things but oh well I am using them as the same. Helping people I think is something that is built into everyone of us. I do believe that ultimately we like to help people to a certain extent, some more then other but deep down we still like to help people. Just be careful right?
You have to be willing to share apart of you though when helping someone. I am not an expert in helping people sadly, I love to but I often feel like I fail half the time. Well more then half. That comes with being human though right? Something I talked about with Lauren, who also writes about struggles, she writes about eating disorders, was that we are not professionals. I know this might shock everyone but I am not a professional in helping through depression. I can tell you my experience, what worked for me and how you can help yourself but I cannot ultimately help you and fix you. As much as I would like to.
For some aspects of life I believe that things are a choice, this is something I believe in that is a choice. I think people need to choose to want to be helped. If you come up to me in October you were going to get me over depression I would have told you yes but nothing would have changed. This was not because I did not want to help myself but I did not even know how to or where to start. I was still denying it at that point and did not want to help myself because I did not want to admit there was something wrong. I guess that is my final point from my experience you cannot fix someone that goes not want to be helped or fixed. In my life it had to be a choice to get help, it was a difficult one but eventually I made a choice to get help. That is all you can really do, until someone asks for help it is going to be difficult to help them!
Goodbye for now,