Thursday, March 3, 2011


Hey Guys,

Today I had been thinking about the past alot. There have been a few things lately that have caused me to think about my past. The idea that I was thinking about was how the past/history limits our future. Now bear with me, read the whole blog and come to your own conclusion about what you think.  I will not write this like an essay but I want to get my point across. There have just been a few things in my past that I sometimes wonder if they will limit my own future. So basically what has gone on in these last few days is I am trying to figure out what to do with the next few years of my life, I met a pretty great person and I am trying to figure that out and some personal ideas. Those are just a few things going on in my life right now.

First off is trying to figure out my life in the next few years. FIRST OFF, I am not dwelling in the past, I am not freaking out about the future and I am not fearful of chance. Back to the point with figuring out what to do over the next few years I am thinking well what has happened in my past when I made big decision. It seems as though they were split down the middle right? Deciding to come to TWU, deciding to change Church's and get involved, deciding to do College Pro, deciding to stay in school through and after depression and the list goes on and on. Now I am faced with a few decision in my life and I cannot help but think about my past, how it has effected me and would it repeat? I will be honest about my what I am debating, I am debating as to whether or not I should finish of my time at TWU or if I should take a year off. I am not taking this decision lightly and there is a ton of factors that are going to lead into what I ultimately choose. So I thought about what has gone on in my past with decisions, I sat there for a while and thought about when I didnt choose something or when I did etc... then I thought this, is my past decisions ultimately going to limit or affect the decision in my future?

Second, was I have started to get to know this pretty great person (no I am still trying to follow my no dating rule) but we are talking. It has been great but guess the first thing that went through my mind? I thought about my past and what has gone on, when I have been hurt, when I have hurt and when I made mistakes. I even had to stop and say to myself not to be fearful, but rather not have the worry of something going wrong. In my past I have made a few mistakes and I am wondering will those repeat? Now today I am wondering will the limit me from opening up and limit me from being vulnerable. It is an interesting idea that I have been wrestling with.

Lastly, what is this how much time do we spend not doing things because we are fearful of repeating a mistake? It is often said that:
"History repeats itself" 
Well I disagree with that and want to add to it:
"History repeats itself, only if not you do not learn from it!"
So anyone who is reading this I want you to think about you future and ask yourself does your past limit you from doing it? Does the past limit you from taking a trip, talking to that girl, losing some weight, or anything in general. I know in my life for the most part of it I have been fearful of doing tasks because I had already failed once, or I let people down or I made a mistake. Do not let your past dictate you future!

Goodbye for now,
Christian Sawka

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