Something that I have been thinking about lately is Why Do I Blog? What causes me to keep coming back each day and posting something new. Well, where it all started was way back when I was just coming through my depression and I felt I had to share everything with people. Not just to say look I am getting better but to show that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I started because I never wanted someone again, in life, to have to go through depression and suicide alone. I think this is something I have found and I am SURE that if you read my blog you can pick up on is that I believe we spend too much time alone. Now, what I mean about being alone, I mean spending time actually in community and sharing with people. I find that we spend so much time with people without actually getting to know them and thus feel alone. I think that is one of the reason I still blog to this day is a act of trying to show people that it is alright to be open and honest and share. I have received a fair amount of comments, jokes and even insults about my blog. As a lot of you know I post all my links of Facebook and I do actually get a fair amount of flack from them. Commenting of what I am saying, my problems, and my spelling. This is the thing I am realizing though the more I blog the more I post the less I actually care about the words of others that are negative.
So Why Do I Still Blog? Well it is as simple as this I like to hear my own words. Joking, the truth is because I have spent my entire life is fast forward trying to move from one thing to another time after time without ever stopping. Blogging is the one time in a day that I can slow right down and relax. Yes, I do it usually before I go to sleep because I was told too. I was told to do something that would calm me down and would allow me to fall asleep. During my depression I had some wicked insomnia that really effected my daily life that I am JUST starting to get over now. In a lot of ways I blog to aide my recovery. The saying goes 'laughter is the best medicine' well I would say that the best medicine for depression, loneliness is talking. I've spent the majority of my life talking about people instead of talking too people, sharing what matters to me the most. This blog matters to me, my friends matter to me, my family matters to me and my faith matters to me (not in that order) but these things are important and beneficial to my life. Something I wrote in my goals for 2011 is that I wanted to change one persons life and I also wrote I never will know if I will. That is still fine with me though. Why I will continue to blog is because it is helping me grow up a little bit, think and understand my actions. It is teaching my to process everything, understand issue from multiple perspectives and also accept and move on.
I tend to do more of a reflective blog on Sunday night and this was my reflective blog. There are going to be some big changes in my life upcoming and I am going to try and think them through. If I have learned anything through all my writing it is this, sometimes take a little more time on things is not a bad thing at all.
Goodbye for now,
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