Something I learned a long time ago from my parents was this have your friends, make sure there nice, good kids blah blah blah. It is funny when you grow up and go through some more difficult times that you start to see what a solid friend is actually like. For me one of my biggest problems is that I shockingly do not trust people one bit. I know that might be surprising considering your reading this on a blog but I have a terrible fear of trusting people let alone actually loving someone but that is a different demon. This HUGE lack of trust has affected a ton of friendships I have had. So it was no surprise that when my life started going downhill the last thing I did was tell people what I was going through.
*Side Note: Always ask people how they are doing and actually ask them do not just say hi good and bye*
When I was going through the lowest point in my life (thus far) I was hoping that at every turn someone I trusted would just ask me as simple as how I was doing. I use to think that the next friend I have that ask me how I am, I am just going to overload them! So because of that I slowly and surely stopped telling anyone that was going on. Sadly it was not until after these months that I really started to learn what it actually means to not only be a friend but also what having solid friends around looks like.
We all suffer from this messed up idea of being 'cool' or having those fun friends that do all those cool things. Sadly that is not always the case the more you grow up the more you realize this idea of cool is retarded. A solid friend is not someone that is going to take you out to have 'Fun' when you’re going through difficult times but rather someone who is going to walk beside you (figuratively) but help you back to your feet. A solid friend is someone through thick and thin is there for you and will honestly drop what they are doing and run. I was in the Hospital one time on a Thursday night and it was shocking to see who really cared about everything. A good friend of mine refused not to come would not let me be in the hospital by myself even if that meant he was going to bomb his final the next morning.
A great old statement is that you don’t know yourself or your friends until you go through something tough. Your true character will show when the tough times come, you will never know yourself until you are starting into nothing and you will never know who those real solid friend or friends are until there is no one else around and they refuse to leave. The biggest thing I can stress in life and to take from my own flaws and mistakes is this, be true to yourself at all times DO NOT pretend to be someone you’re not and be the friend that your want your friends to be to you. If you want someone to be a solid friend for you, you sure as hell need to be solid for them first.
Last point ill make before listening to some more country music is this depression is like hell to go through especially when it gets past your control but there is only one thing worse than that... going through depression being 100% or feeling like you are 100% alone. Because if you lose hope and no one else is around you at that point well be careful.
Bye for now,
P.S. If your reading these go ahead and follow me I will be posting about 1-2 each day maybe more.