Prove vs Bends

Hey Guys,


This is something my mentor shared we me and something that has been really coming into my life as to late as I posted about talking about real friends and the importance of them. This goes alone with it. He talks that there are two types of people people who prove and people who bend. Let me explain what each of them are. Mind you these are a little bit more of my interpretation and what I have taken from them.


BENDS
Blame
Excuses
Neglect
Dismiss
Sulk


This is how I am starting to view this the type of person who is the bends is someone who blames everyone else for their mistake. They will pass off any problem that is it someone else's problem. For example they will be that person at an event who says this event sucks because the person in charge did not plan it well, or because it is not what they want to do. They will blame the person in charge instead of making the most of their situation. Next is the excuses this is a big one this is someone who will make an excuse for something they always do. THIS IS MY WEAKNESS. I will always say stuff like I was tired, I had a lot going on, I was just frustrated, I did not mean to do that, that was no my intention, or It was not meant like that. Do those sound familiar? It tends to be something in our society that we make excuses for everything we do so that we do not have to take responsibility (start to notice how BENDS and PROVE relate okay?) Next is neglecting they will neglect all ownership or something they are in charge of. This will be the person who will say stuff like this will be a fair amount of work or it will be difficult. They will do anything to neglect anything that could be hard work or responsibility. Next is my favourite people who dismiss they dismiss anything they can. Oh I do not want to do that, that was not me, well that is not exactly what happened or it is not that big of deal. And last is this idea of SULKING! I hate sulkers (disclaimer this is not always true just people who are true sulkers) these are people who just find something wrong in EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME they will sulk. Aw this sucks, this event is boring... sigh... there are so many examples just sulking about everything like that there life is impossible all the time. It just bugs me that when people actually go through stuff they feel bad sharing or burdening people because of people like this.


These are the type of people you do not want to be and this does not mean that sometimes we all make excuses or blame but we need to aim to be PROVE people. It is when these become your answer all the time that it is a problem. Think to yourself do you want to be around someone who is always going to make and excuse for everything? or blame you for every mistake? or sulk when something does not go their way?


PROVE
Pride
Responsibility
Ownership
Value
Empowerment


SPOILER ALERT! this is the type of person you want to be! First off is pride and this does not mean ego or being arrogant this means taking pride in what you do. I will describe this and you will know someone right now who fits this description. Pride in this situation is for someone who just takes absolutely pride in what they do, they take complete control of it and do not just do something half-heartily. These are those passionate people who when you see them do something think oh man I WISH I could be as passionate about something as they are. They will be the people who will just take so much pride in what they are doing and will not back down. Think about it for a second... think of someone who takes pride in their faith? their sport? their school work? their life! I am pretty sure you can think of someone. Next is responsibility this is my favourite one because it is easy to start and spot these people, people who take responsibility when they make a mistake. These people will always shock you because they will be the first tell you I MESSED UP, I made a mistake and boy do you respect these people so much. Next is ownership where someone takes ownership for their action similar to responsibility but more with actions. They will take ownership of what they are saying, how they are acting and how they are making people feel. These are the type of people that make you feel care about because they take ownership of what they are saying and effect they are having. Next is value this is people who find value in every action they are doing. Every job they do they find the utter value in what they are doing it could be as simple as serving, or talking but they find value in these things. Lastly is empowerment which are types of people who just inspire you to do more, to take on task, to take on responsibility and who help you along the way.


These are the type of people you always want to be around because they make you want to be like them. Truthfully and it is not a bad thing at all wanting to be like those type of people. These people are usually the ones around you in leadership, the ones that have all the friends that you want to be friends with and most importantly the people you respect and aspire to be like. I have people in my life that are like that to me that I wish I could be like them in so many ways. I never wish to have someone else's life but some qualities they have would be great. That is all I really need to say about that.


So when my mentor shared this with me he said this too. WHO ARE YOU? and it just sends a shiver down your back because you get this huge description of what the good and bad types are. Then I just sat there and realized ah ha! I am not perfect one of the biggest things I struggle with still is make excuses and dismissing. I will admit 100% I make excuses for my actions sometimes well often that I will make up something. Why I did not do well, oh I was tired, I was out talking to much last night, or some lame excuse like that. Instead of taking responsibility for my actions I tend to make excuses which is a horrible thing but it is something I do. Also I still dismiss things and play them off like oh it was nothing this one I am really starting to work on but I still do this from time to time. I dismiss my actions or what I say like it was nothing. Oh that was no big deal. But what I have learned when going through all this depression and such you cannot dismiss these small things like they are nothing or they will build up and just rip right through you. Like it did for me I dismissed my action and my excuses for them and eventually they broke me down from the inside out. They tore me apart. Going through depression was so tough for this I was in between a bends and a prove person but when the depression hit the bends. I was blaming people for what I was going through, make an excuses for every action, neglecting all responsibility, dismissing the affect I was having on people and just sulking all the time for anything that would not go my way. By no means am I perfect now or am I the perfect person but I aim each day to become that PROVE person.


Here is my challenge for anyone reading this... WHO ARE YOU? take the time to really look into your life and figure out who you are and be honest with yourself. I think this is going to be one of the first times I am really going to try and challenge you (who ever reads this) take the time to consider who you are and who you want to become? It is good once and a while to self-reflect so take the time to reflect on this and figure out what is going on? That is challenge #1 the next one is who do you really want in your life? This does not mean that if anyone is not a perfect prove person kick them out of your life but this means who are the type of people you want shaping your life. Do you want people who prove or bends? It is a interesting question and this is the first blog post of mine check out my post about the importance of good friends because this is another thing along with that. What are the type of people you want shaping your life?


Feel free to respond to this, comment, message me or post something on my facebook or get into contact with me in anyways if you want to talk. But just take the time to figure out who you are.


Goodbye for now,
Christian Sawka


P.S. Comment section has been fixed feel free to comment and say what ever you would like.